Unconditional Love…

Unconditional Love…

When I first got involved in Innate Health, I heard a lot about unconditional love being the answer, no matter what the problem might be. Back then, it sounded nice, but meaningless, to me. I was stepping into this new world from a life that was totally transactional, a life of “If…then”. If I got this contract, then I could give my employees a Christmas bonus; if my daughter got straight A’s, then we would take her to DisneyWorld; if I lost five pounds, then I could wear the red dress to the party… Everything was conditional, including love. Both my husband and I would say things to each other that started with, “If you really loved me, you would…”

Now, 30-some years later, it is so vividly true to me that unconditional love is the answer to everything that it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. Unconditional love has nothing to do with human transactions. Unconditional love arises in the spirit. It is the pure, uninhibited joy of being alive and integral to the universe.

Conditionality is a human transaction, a product of thought that imposes ideas on how things should be. We make and believe in our own assumptions without any understanding that they are our fabrications. We do not embrace the unpredictable variability of life or of everyone and everything in it. Anything we find acceptable must conform to our opinions and expectations. We reject people and things that don’t fit our ideas or do not make sense within our world view.

Unconditionality is the inchoate vitality before formed thought. It presents no judgment about life or anything in it. We surrender to the flow of it. Without expectations or judgments, we are immersed in being. Unpredictability, variability do not look disorderly or strange as life unfolds moment-to-moment. It just is. We just are. Everything is rich, fascinating, and materializing in the moment.

Unconditionality is profound love of life, of the beautiful energy surging through the universe and through us, and of the wonder of being united with the essential formless force, and yet creating our own passage within it. Unconditional love is the fullness of heart that emerges from pure appreciation of all of it — the darkness and the light, the perfect and the imperfect, the same and the different, the known and the unknown. Unconditional love is deep, soothing peace. In the “isness” of the universe,  there is nothing and no one to fear. We are safe in each present moment in the emerging wisdom that is always available to us. Wisdom is the knowledge that binds the universe together through the creative dynamic of being.

Why is the state of unconditional love the answer, no matter the problem?

The simple fact is that a person who is living with a free and clear mind in that unconditional feeling of gratitude and reverence for life does not bring to mind thoughts of harming or being harmed. No selfish, greedy thoughts. No mean, hurtful thoughts. No disappointed, discouraged thoughts. No resentful, vengeful thoughts. No anxious, fearful thoughts. That state of mind, that state of being, brings with it access to the flow of wisdom and confidence, moment-to-moment, that we can count on to guide us through life’s ups and downs. Wisdom propels us forward. Entertaining negative or dysfunctional or destructive thinking feels wrong and unpleasant if it enters the mind.  Those who understand the nature of thought turn away from such ideas — just allow them to pass without action — and look to quiet their thinking and embrace wisdom once more.

Is it unrealistic or even wildly pollyanna to imagine that such a state could come to dominate the experience of humanity? That is an unanswered question. Until we turn our backs on the belief that the content of our personal thinking is more important than our understanding of the true spiritual being through which we are generating that thinking, we will not know the answer. Beliefs seem powerful. They look very real to us while they are on our minds, especially when we don’t know how they got there. As more and more people come to recognize themselves as the agents of life, rather than seeing circumstances as the agency of their life, the ease with which humanity can find personal peace of mind and act from wisdom increases. When wisdom informs more and more of human choices, we will live in a different world, grounded in peace and hope, filled with unconditional love.

Once unconditional love is illuminated as the quintessential power to live, then who would not want to call it home? Who would willingly turn away from natural peace and joy?

 

THOUGHT vs. thought

A lot of misunderstanding about the idea of “thought” pervades our work in the Three Principles. I’d like to draw a very clear distinction.

When people talk about “thought” in terms of what we have thought, the content of our thinking, we are not talking about the Principle of Thought. The Principle of Thought describes the formless energy (described by the Principle MIND) that flows through all life, our life, that empowers us to create “thoughts”. THOUGHT is energy, the spiritual, creative force of generating ideas about life. Once we have used that energy to form our own ideas, our particular “thoughts” look real to us while they are our minds, a fact described by the Principle CONSCIOUSNESS, the power to be aware of what we see in our mind’s eye.

Quite often, people who understand this distinction might refer to each person’s individual thoughts as “just a thought,” without any realization of how dismissive and insulting that might sound to someone who did NOT understand the Principle of THOUGHT. I remember clearly the first time someone said this to me, early on years ago when I was really looking to grasp the profound nature of seeing THOUGHT as a power, a formless energy that set me free to create my own life and navigate it, free from external pressure. At a time when I was struggling to step into the unknown, and expressing doubts, a woman I knew casually said, “Oh, that’s just a thought. Let it go!” In the state of mind I was in, that left me infuriated and frustrated. It didn’t matter to me at that moment that what she said was true, because it was only true for anyone who has seen deeply enough not to take thought content seriously. At that moment, it felt like I was being judged and found wanting. I see-sawed between fearing that I was wrong and stupid to be upset and thinking that she was just mean-spirited and didn’t understand me at all.

Once I saw more deeply, I realized for myself that when people have upsetting, doubt-filled thoughts, those thoughts are a temporary reality, but knowing they are thoughts coming from within our own minds, they don’t seem important. They, like all thoughts, are understood to be transitory, part of the flow of ideas that create our moment-to-moment experience of life. We know for ourselves that they are “just thoughts,” images we’ve created. When we know it for ourselves, we know not to take any particular thoughts seriously; we know we are always thinking; we know we can think for ourselves; we know we can turn our backs on thoughts that are bringing us into dark emotional places and quiet our minds and think again.

But, here’s what’s important, WE know it from our own insights. No one can tell us something is “just a thought” because, until we see it for ourselves, it looks like an important reality that consumes our awareness while those thoughts are on our minds.

What I have been humbled, again and again, to learn over the 30+ years I have been involved in this work is that everyone can see this for themselves because all human beings are innately resilient and spiritually whole, no matter where our thoughts have taken us in life. But no one can make another person see it. Our role is to show love and respect for people and to truly see the humanity in them, the health and wholeness in them, to see that, regardless of their habitual thinking or their lack of seeing their own power to think, they are intrinsically and simply complete human beings. As people come to peace and quiet in the presence of unconditional love and respect, we can count on their own wisdom to start to surface, and for insights to bubble up. They set themselves free. And then we can celebrate that with them and explain it so that the logic of it is clear and they incrementally gain confidence in their own wise insights.

That is why, in the world of our work, clients often say we “didn’t do that much.” That’s the joy of it. There isn’t that much to do because wisdom is the coin of the realm, shared by all. We may have beckoned to it, but the clients welcomed it and made it their companion and guide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Problem; One Solution

global change

A beautiful thing happened the last weekend in May, thanks to those with the vision to hold the first “One Solution” conference in Oslo, Norway. In one weekend, they elevated onto the world stage the absolute simplicity and power of the answer offered by a true understanding of how the mind works.

Although I could not attend because of a commitment, I watched what I could of the live stream, and, on the very first night, I had an Aha! moment about all of us (“all of us” being the handful of people who started the work of bringing the Three Principles into all walks of life back in the mid-70’s up through the tens of thousands involved in the work globally today.) For all these years, we’ve been compartmentalized, and when we tried to generalize, we were treated as “pollyanna,” or “naive,” or claiming the impossible. We live in a world in which there is currently no vision for the true meaning of underlying Principles that explain all human experience, that define all human beings as operating the same way at the core, regardless of their differences. So we have hundreds of diagnoses and treatments for all kinds of mental illness; many approaches to many different business problems; separate ideas about how to treat a variety of social justice issues; fragmented approaches to addressing dysfunctional institutions and organizations depending on their size, purpose, culture, location, etc. “All of us” knew from the beginning there was one underlying problem and one underlying solution, but because we were coming at our individual work from our own particular professional interests, the overwhelming significance of the fact that we were all addressing the exact same solution to all the problems was invisible to others.

Consider, for example, the difference between the way we think about Psychology and the way we think about Geometry. No matter what language, culture, environment, situation in which a problem is being addressed by geometry, everyone understands geometry precisely the same way. The principles of Geometry apply across the board, whether you are developing an architectural plan, designing a work of art, creating a fabric pattern, imagining a virtual reality, expanding nanotechnology, or building a sand castle. No one argues whether there are unique rules of geometry that apply differently to different situations. You are working with the same set of assumptions and facts to solve infinite problems. It is implicitly understood that the Principles of Geometry are constants; the variables are the infinite situations in which they can be applied.

The One Solution conference brought to the foreground that, with an understanding of the Principles underlying the human experience, it doesn’t matter what the problem is, the solution is the same, and there is one solution to all of humanity’s problems. Put another way, humanity created the problems; humanity contains the solution to all of them. It took the 30,000-foot view; from there, you lose the details and you can see the outlines.

It absolutely does not matter what problem is being addressed; the solution is one very simple thing: recognize the operating Principles behind all human thinking and experience.

I remember, in the mid-80’s, when I was first learning, someone told me, “You know, there is only one mental illness, and there is only one cure. The illness is dysfunctional, insecure thinking taken seriously over time; the cure is seeing that we are the thinkers and we can change.” That moment crystallized everything for me. But back then, I was an entrepreneur, not a mental health professional, and my mind immediately went to my clients. It made sense there, too. Then I started thinking about community, about education — all the same. One problem, one solution. Yet, we could never seem to get people to stop asking what clients, what situations, does “this” work best with! In a world full of specialists, it isn’t easy to make a living as a generalist. But that was always our hope: To question, and ultimately change, the assumptions of the world about the fundamental source of change: the fact that all experience is created from the inside-out. We are the thinkers, constantly using the power to think to create moment-to-moment reality.

The simple answer emerged from the visionary thinking of the people who put together One Solution: Talk about the world from the get-go. Don’t let anyone start thinking too soon about specific applications. Let the applications flow out of the vision for the whole globe.

For years, people have looked upon my resume with suspicion because I have worked with health care, with stressed business executives, with dysfunctional organizations, with youth, with abused women, with individual mental health clients, with educational institutions, with students, with teachers, with non-profits. “What do you exactly do?” people ask. “How could you be working in so many settings?” I used to find it amusing that if I were an accountant, no one would ask those questions. There are, of course, general principles of accounting, which are generally understood. But because I was an Innate Health Consultant, it was confusing.

I would answer, “I work with human beings to help them understand their thinking for what it is, and see how to access their own wisdom.” Very often, that was deemed an insufficient answer. Because we are trained to solve problems from the outside-in — i.e., to identify the problem, find an external source for the problem, come up with a strategy to fix THAT problem — it is hard for people to wrap their minds around the idea that misused and misunderstood thinking is always the essential source of problems. And when people see what thinking really is, how we can change, and how we can access creativity and higher levels of thinking, they can find solutions to everything that appears to be a problem.

After more than 30 years in my work, I am not foolish enough to think that one conference, one weekend, one newly empowered group of people, will bring about immediate change. But it feels like we have seen how to turn the ship in the channel and head to open waters.

For this subtle shift in how we see and present our own work, I offer my heartfelt thanks to the One Solution organizers: #Mara Gleason, #Aaron Turner, #Erik Grunde Olsen, #George Pransky, #Linda Pransky. They stepped up and took a big risk in boldly offering a “One Solution”
global conference because they believe so strongly that the only hope for change is getting the attention of the world in a new way. I am sure they do not think of their efforts as heroic, but I do, because the definition of commitment, in my book, is always fearlessly following your vision.

I’m sure this is only the first of many such conferences, involving many more people, across the world, and I couldn’t be more excited to step up and be a part of it. Join in.

Meanwhile, the whole idea of this is worth reflection. I am asking myself: What DO I do? Could I be doing it differently, better, more impactfully? Am I, in the words of Sydney Banks, pouring “new wine into old bottles,” by fitting my work into existing service paradigms?

At this moment, I am basking in the questions. No answers yet, but the one thing I am certain of is that wisdom will show the way. Change is coming.

The post One Problem; One Solution appeared first on Three Principles Living.

One Problem; One Solution

A beautiful thing happened the last weekend in May, thanks to those with the vision to hold the first “One Solution” conference in Oslo, Norway. In one weekend, they elevated onto the world stage the absolute simplicity and power of the answer offered by a true understanding of how the mind works.

Although I could not attend because of a commitment, I watched what I could of the live stream, and, on the very first night, I had an Aha! moment about all of us (“all of us” being the handful of people who started the work of bringing the Three Principles into all walks of life back in the mid-70’s up through the tens of thousands involved in the work globally today.) For all these years, we’ve been compartmentalized, and when we tried to generalize, we were treated as “pollyanna,” or “naive,” or claiming the impossible. We live in a world in which there is currently no vision for the true meaning of underlying Principles that explain all human experience, that define all human beings as operating the same way at the core, regardless of their differences. So we have hundreds of diagnoses and treatments for all kinds of mental illness; many approaches to many different business problems; separate ideas about how to treat a variety of social justice issues; fragmented approaches to addressing dysfunctional institutions and organizations depending on their size, purpose, culture, location, etc. “All of us” knew from the beginning there was one underlying problem and one underlying solution, but because we were coming at our individual work from our own particular professional interests, the overwhelming significance of the fact that we were all addressing the exact same solution to all the problems was invisible to others.

Consider, for example, the difference between the way we think about Psychology and the way we think about Geometry. No matter what language, culture, environment, situation in which a problem is being addressed by geometry, everyone understands geometry precisely the same way. The principles of Geometry apply across the board, whether you are developing an architectural plan, designing a work of art, creating a fabric pattern, imagining a virtual reality, expanding nanotechnology, or building a sand castle. No one argues whether there are unique rules of geometry that apply differently to different situations. You are working with the same set of assumptions and facts to solve infinite problems. It is implicitly understood that the Principles of Geometry are constants; the variables are the infinite situations in which they can be applied.

The One Solution conference brought to the foreground that, with an understanding of the Principles underlying the human experience, it doesn’t matter what the problem is, the solution is the same, and there is one solution to all of humanity’s problems. Put another way, humanity created the problems; humanity contains the solution to all of them. It took the 30,000-foot view; from there, you lose the details and you can see the outlines.

It absolutely does not matter what problem is being addressed; the solution is one very simple thing: recognize the operating Principles behind all human thinking and experience.

I remember, in the mid-80’s, when I was first learning, someone told me, “You know, there is only one mental illness, and there is only one cure. The illness is dysfunctional, insecure thinking taken seriously over time; the cure is seeing that we are the thinkers and we can change.” That moment crystallized everything for me. But back then, I was an entrepreneur, not a mental health professional, and my mind immediately went to my clients. It made sense there, too. Then I started thinking about community, about education — all the same. One problem, one solution. Yet, we could never seem to get people to stop asking what clients, what situations, does “this” work best with! In a world full of specialists, it isn’t easy to make a living as a generalist. But that was always our hope: To question, and ultimately change, the assumptions of the world about the fundamental source of change: the fact that all experience is created from the inside-out. We are the thinkers, constantly using the power to think to create moment-to-moment reality.

The simple answer emerged from the visionary thinking of the people who put together One Solution: Talk about the world from the get-go. Don’t let anyone start thinking too soon about specific applications. Let the applications flow out of the vision for the whole globe.

For years, people have looked upon my resume with suspicion because I have worked with health care, with stressed business executives, with dysfunctional organizations, with youth, with abused women, with individual mental health clients, with educational institutions, with students, with teachers, with non-profits. “What do you exactly do?” people ask. “How could you be working in so many settings?” I used to find it amusing that if I were an accountant, no one would ask those questions. There are, of course, general principles of accounting, which are generally understood. But because I was an Innate Health Consultant, it was confusing.

I would answer, “I work with human beings to help them understand their thinking for what it is, and see how to access their own wisdom.” Very often, that was deemed an insufficient answer. Because we are trained to solve problems from the outside-in — i.e., to identify the problem, find an external source for the problem, come up with a strategy to fix THAT problem — it is hard for people to wrap their minds around the idea that misused and misunderstood thinking is always the essential source of problems. And when people see what thinking really is, how we can change, and how we can access creativity and higher levels of thinking, they can find solutions to everything that appears to be a problem.

After more than 30 years in my work, I am not foolish enough to think that one conference, one weekend, one newly empowered group of people, will bring about immediate change. But it feels like we have seen how to turn the ship in the channel and head to open waters.

For this subtle shift in how we see and present our own work, I offer my heartfelt thanks to the One Solution organizers: #Mara Gleason, #Aaron Turner, #Erik Grunde Olsen, #George Pransky, #Linda Pransky. They stepped up and took a big risk in boldly offering a “One Solution”
global conference because they believe so strongly that the only hope for change is getting the attention of the world in a new way. I am sure they do not think of their efforts as heroic, but I do, because the definition of commitment, in my book, is always fearlessly following your vision.

I’m sure this is only the first of many such conferences, involving many more people, across the world, and I couldn’t be more excited to step up and be a part of it. Join in.

Meanwhile, the whole idea of this is worth reflection. I am asking myself: What DO I do? Could I be doing it differently, better, more impactfully? Am I, in the words of Sydney Banks, pouring “new wine into old bottles,” by fitting my work into existing service paradigms?

At this moment, I am basking in the questions. No answers yet, but the one thing I am certain of is that wisdom will show the way. Change is coming.

The post One Problem; One Solution appeared first on Three Principles Living.

One Problem; One Solution

A beautiful thing happened the last weekend in May, thanks to those with the vision to hold the first “One Solution” conference in Oslo, Norway. In one weekend, they elevated onto the world stage the absolute simplicity and power of the answer offered by a true understanding of how the mind works.

Although I could not attend because of a commitment, I watched what I could of the live stream, and, on the very first night, I had an Aha! moment about all of us (“all of us” being the handful of people who started the work of bringing the Three Principles into all walks of life back in the mid-70’s up through the tens of thousands involved in the work globally today.) For all these years, we’ve been compartmentalized, and when we tried to generalize, we were treated as “pollyanna,” or “naive,” or claiming the impossible. We live in a world in which there is currently no vision for the true meaning of underlying Principles that explain all human experience, that define all human beings as operating the same way at the core, regardless of their differences. So we have hundreds of diagnoses and treatments for all kinds of mental illness; many approaches to many different business problems; separate ideas about how to treat a variety of social justice issues; fragmented approaches to addressing dysfunctional institutions and organizations depending on their size, purpose, culture, location, etc. “All of us” knew from the beginning there was one underlying problem and one underlying solution, but because we were coming at our individual work from our own particular professional interests, the overwhelming significance of the fact that we were all addressing the exact same solution to all the problems was invisible to others.

Consider, for example, the difference between the way we think about Psychology and the way we think about Geometry. No matter what language, culture, environment, situation in which a problem is being addressed by geometry, everyone understands geometry precisely the same way. The principles of Geometry apply across the board, whether you are developing an architectural plan, designing a work of art, creating a fabric pattern, imagining a virtual reality, expanding nanotechnology, or building a sand castle. No one argues whether there are unique rules of geometry that apply differently to different situations. You are working with the same set of assumptions and facts to solve infinite problems. It is implicitly understood that the Principles of Geometry are constants; the variables are the infinite situations in which they can be applied.

The One Solution conference brought to the foreground that, with an understanding of the Principles underlying the human experience, it doesn’t matter what the problem is, the solution is the same, and there is one solution to all of humanity’s problems. Put another way, humanity created the problems; humanity contains the solution to all of them. It took the 30,000-foot view; from there, you lose the details and you can see the outlines.

It absolutely does not matter what problem is being addressed; the solution is one very simple thing: recognize the operating Principles behind all human thinking and experience.

I remember, in the mid-80’s, when I was first learning, someone told me, “You know, there is only one mental illness, and there is only one cure. The illness is dysfunctional, insecure thinking taken seriously over time; the cure is seeing that we are the thinkers and we can change.” That moment crystallized everything for me. But back then, I was an entrepreneur, not a mental health professional, and my mind immediately went to my clients. It made sense there, too. Then I started thinking about community, about education — all the same. One problem, one solution. Yet, we could never seem to get people to stop asking what clients, what situations, does “this” work best with! In a world full of specialists, it isn’t easy to make a living as a generalist. But that was always our hope: To question, and ultimately change, the assumptions of the world about the fundamental source of change: the fact that all experience is created from the inside-out. We are the thinkers, constantly using the power to think to create moment-to-moment reality.

The simple answer emerged from the visionary thinking of the people who put together One Solution: Talk about the world from the get-go. Don’t let anyone start thinking too soon about specific applications. Let the applications flow out of the vision for the whole globe.

For years, people have looked upon my resume with suspicion because I have worked with health care, with stressed business executives, with dysfunctional organizations, with youth, with abused women, with individual mental health clients, with educational institutions, with students, with teachers, with non-profits. “What do you exactly do?” people ask. “How could you be working in so many settings?” I used to find it amusing that if I were an accountant, no one would ask those questions. There are, of course, general principles of accounting, which are generally understood. But because I was an Innate Health Consultant, it was confusing.

I would answer, “I work with human beings to help them understand their thinking for what it is, and see how to access their own wisdom.” Very often, that was deemed an insufficient answer. Because we are trained to solve problems from the outside-in — i.e., to identify the problem, find an external source for the problem, come up with a strategy to fix THAT problem — it is hard for people to wrap their minds around the idea that misused and misunderstood thinking is always the essential source of problems. And when people see what thinking really is, how we can change, and how we can access creativity and higher levels of thinking, they can find solutions to everything that appears to be a problem.

After more than 30 years in my work, I am not foolish enough to think that one conference, one weekend, one newly empowered group of people, will bring about immediate change. But it feels like we have seen how to turn the ship in the channel and head to open waters.

For this subtle shift in how we see and present our own work, I offer my heartfelt thanks to the One Solution organizers: #Mara Gleason, #Aaron Turner, #Erik Grunde Olsen, #George Pransky, #Linda Pransky. They stepped up and took a big risk in boldly offering a “One Solution”
global conference because they believe so strongly that the only hope for change is getting the attention of the world in a new way. I am sure they do not think of their efforts as heroic, but I do, because the definition of commitment, in my book, is always fearlessly following your vision.

I’m sure this is only the first of many such conferences, involving many more people, across the world, and I couldn’t be more excited to step up and be a part of it. Join in.

Meanwhile, the whole idea of this is worth reflection. I am asking myself: What DO I do? Could I be doing it differently, better, more impactfully? Am I, in the words of Sydney Banks, pouring “new wine into old bottles,” by fitting my work into existing service paradigms?

At this moment, I am basking in the questions. No answers yet, but the one thing I am certain of is that wisdom will show the way. Change is coming.

The post One Problem; One Solution appeared first on Three Principles Living.

Right and Wrong: Painful Thoughts

Many of my clients are intensely engaged in a fruitless, frustrating effort to prove others wrong, or to get others to say or do what they expect. They come in angry and resentful because these people are “ruining” their life or “making” them miserable. They hang their happiness on getting what they think they “need” from people they who have “let them down”.

When”, I always ask them, “is the last time you complied with an angry, accusatory person who insisted that you do or say something?”

The usual response is, “Huh?” That is usually followed, “But you don’t understand. I’m right.”

Of course, in the state of mind we happen to be in, we all think we’re right. And, there’s the rub. Unless we know that “right” is our own thought, we are doomed to righteous indignation and seeking the company only of people who agree with us while demanding satisfaction from those who don’t.

Here’s an example. I was talking to someone who had gotten through a bitter divorce and arrived, painfully, at a shared custody agreement with her ex-husband regarding their young teenager. He started giving the teenager a tremendous amount of freedom, lots of money, and every material thing the teenager asked for. She was attempting to set boundaries, limit spending money and encourage her teenager to work for things that felt important. It wasn’t long before the teenager was playing one off against the other, and manifesting a lot of negative behaviors. So the mother demanded that the whole family go to counseling.

After one session, the counselor told her, “Well, of course, you’re right, but he’s not going to do anything you ask him to do. He feels if he supported your parenting style and helped you, it would be doing something for you, and he doesn’t want to do anything for you. He can’t stand you. So I think you have to work with things as they are, or maybe try to renegotiate your custody agreement.” The woman was devastated. She wanted an answer about how to create change, not a suggestion that she needed to get resigned to an untenable stand-off.

Right now, we live in a world that does not recognize that all people have the capacity to see their thinking for what it is and change their minds. We live in a world where resignation or argument is as good as it gets. We live in a world that assumes each person’s thinking is the way it is and nothing will change. We live in a world that gives all the power to situations, and no power whatsoever to the thinkers of the thoughts that created the situations in the first place.

In the resilient, dynamic, inside-out world represented by the Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought,Our life is what our thoughts make it - inspirational word by Marcus Aurelius on a slate blackboard with a white chalk and a stack of books against rustic wooden table that makes no sense at all. When our clients tell us that someone or something else is making them miserable or doing them wrong, we do not focus on “fixing” the situation or reinforcing their negative view. We focus on the only true source of power, the creative force of each person’s ability to think and think again, and see things for themselves, and appreciate their own unlimited power to change.

All of these situations we address are microcosms of the general failure to solve big problems in the world. People feel victimized by “intractable” situations, rather than seeing that their thinking about the situations is what is holding them in place.

Is it possible that a resentful ex-husband could come to understand that his negative thinking about the past is the source of his hateful feelings about his ex-wife, and question the wisdom of acting against his child’s best interest? Is it possible that an insecure ex-wife could see how her thinking, as well as his, played into the nastiness of the divorce, and question whether her own insecurity was preventing her from finding common ground about what is best for their child? Is it possible that a mental health educator who understood that thinking is a power we all can understand how to use could help resolve this situation?

Yes, Yes, and Yes.

Wake up, world! Wake up to the universal wisdom that could set us all free to resolve conflicts (large and small), create solutions (at home and in the world), and live at peace. It is one thought away from every person on the planet.

To find that thought — whatever healing insight is needed for the situation(s) we are in — all we need is a moment of truth, a moment in which we see for ourselves that we are creating our reality, and we can change it, a moment of quietude into which wisdom flows.

Here is a little talk I offered in 2013 about finding peace on earth, my vision for the 21st Century:

 

 

The post Right and Wrong: Painful Thoughts appeared first on Three Principles Living.

Right and Wrong: Painful Thoughts

Many of my clients are intensely engaged in a fruitless, frustrating effort to prove others wrong, or to get others to say or do what they expect. They come in angry and resentful because these people are “ruining” their life or “making” them miserable. They hang their happiness on getting what they think they “need” from people they who have “let them down”.

When”, I always ask them, “is the last time you complied with an angry, accusatory person who insisted that you do or say something?”

The usual response is, “Huh?” That is usually followed, “But you don’t understand. I’m right.”

Of course, in the state of mind we happen to be in, we all think we’re right. And, there’s the rub. Unless we know that “right” is our own thought, we are doomed to righteous indignation and seeking the company only of people who agree with us while demanding satisfaction from those who don’t.

Here’s an example. I was talking to someone who had gotten through a bitter divorce and arrived, painfully, at a shared custody agreement with her ex-husband regarding their young teenager. He started giving the teenager a tremendous amount of freedom, lots of money, and every material thing the teenager asked for. She was attempting to set boundaries, limit spending money and encourage her teenager to work for things that felt important. It wasn’t long before the teenager was playing one off against the other, and manifesting a lot of negative behaviors. So the mother demanded that the whole family go to counseling.

After one session, the counselor told her, “Well, of course, you’re right, but he’s not going to do anything you ask him to do. He feels if he supported your parenting style and helped you, it would be doing something for you, and he doesn’t want to do anything for you. He can’t stand you. So I think you have to work with things as they are, or maybe try to renegotiate your custody agreement.” The woman was devastated. She wanted an answer about how to create change, not a suggestion that she needed to get resigned to an untenable stand-off.

Right now, we live in a world that does not recognize that all people have the capacity to see their thinking for what it is and change their minds. We live in a world where resignation or argument is as good as it gets. We live in a world that assumes each person’s thinking is the way it is and nothing will change. We live in a world that gives all the power to situations, and no power whatsoever to the thinkers of the thoughts that created the situations in the first place.

In the resilient, dynamic, inside-out world represented by the Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought, that makes no sense at all. When our clients tell us that someone or something else is making them miserable or doing them wrong, we do not focus on “fixing” the situation or reinforcing their negative view. We focus on the only true source of power, the creative force of each person’s ability to think and think again, and see things for themselves, and appreciate their own unlimited power to change.

All of these situations we address are microcosms of the general failure to solve big problems in the world. People feel victimized by “intractable” situations, rather than seeing that their thinking about the situations is what is holding them in place.

Is it possible that a resentful ex-husband could come to understand that his negative thinking about the past is the source of his hateful feelings about his ex-wife, and question the wisdom of acting against his child’s best interest? Is it possible that an insecure ex-wife could see how her thinking, as well as his, played into the nastiness of the divorce, and question whether her own insecurity was preventing her from finding common ground about what is best for their child? Is it possible that a mental health educator who understood that thinking is a power we all can understand how to use could help resolve this situation?

Yes, Yes, and Yes.

Wake up, world! Wake up to the universal wisdom that could set us all free to resolve conflicts (large and small), create solutions (at home and in the world), and live at peace. It is one thought away from every person on the planet.

To find that thought — whatever healing insight is needed for the situation(s) we are in — all we need is a moment of truth, a moment in which we see for ourselves that we are creating our reality, and we can change it, a moment of quietude into which wisdom flows.

Here is a little talk I offered in 2013 about finding peace on earth, my vision for the 21st Century:

 

 

The post Right and Wrong: Painful Thoughts appeared first on Three Principles Living.

Right and Wrong: Painful Thoughts

Many of my clients are intensely engaged in a fruitless, frustrating effort to prove others wrong, or to get others to say or do what they expect. They come in angry and resentful because these people are “ruining” their life or “making” them miserable. They hang their happiness on getting what they think they “need” from people they who have “let them down”.

When”, I always ask them, “is the last time you complied with an angry, accusatory person who insisted that you do or say something?”

The usual response is, “Huh?” That is usually followed, “But you don’t understand. I’m right.”

Of course, in the state of mind we happen to be in, we all think we’re right. And, there’s the rub. Unless we know that “right” is our own thought, we are doomed to righteous indignation and seeking the company only of people who agree with us while demanding satisfaction from those who don’t.

Here’s an example. I was talking to someone who had gotten through a bitter divorce and arrived, painfully, at a shared custody agreement with her ex-husband regarding their young teenager. He started giving the teenager a tremendous amount of freedom, lots of money, and every material thing the teenager asked for. She was attempting to set boundaries, limit spending money and encourage her teenager to work for things that felt important. It wasn’t long before the teenager was playing one off against the other, and manifesting a lot of negative behaviors. So the mother demanded that the whole family go to counseling.

After one session, the counselor told her, “Well, of course, you’re right, but he’s not going to do anything you ask him to do. He feels if he supported your parenting style and helped you, it would be doing something for you, and he doesn’t want to do anything for you. He can’t stand you. So I think you have to work with things as they are, or maybe try to renegotiate your custody agreement.” The woman was devastated. She wanted an answer about how to create change, not a suggestion that she needed to get resigned to an untenable stand-off.

Right now, we live in a world that does not recognize that all people have the capacity to see their thinking for what it is and change their minds. We live in a world where resignation or argument is as good as it gets. We live in a world that assumes each person’s thinking is the way it is and nothing will change. We live in a world that gives all the power to situations, and no power whatsoever to the thinkers of the thoughts that created the situations in the first place.

In the resilient, dynamic, inside-out world represented by the Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought, that makes no sense at all. When our clients tell us that someone or something else is making them miserable or doing them wrong, we do not focus on “fixing” the situation or reinforcing their negative view. We focus on the only true source of power, the creative force of each person’s ability to think and think again, and see things for themselves, and appreciate their own unlimited power to change.

All of these situations we address are microcosms of the general failure to solve big problems in the world. People feel victimized by “intractable” situations, rather than seeing that their thinking about the situations is what is holding them in place.

Is it possible that a resentful ex-husband could come to understand that his negative thinking about the past is the source of his hateful feelings about his ex-wife, and question the wisdom of acting against his child’s best interest? Is it possible that an insecure ex-wife could see how her thinking, as well as his, played into the nastiness of the divorce, and question whether her own insecurity was preventing her from finding common ground about what is best for their child? Is it possible that a mental health educator who understood that thinking is a power we all can understand how to use could help resolve this situation?

Yes, Yes, and Yes.

Wake up, world! Wake up to the universal wisdom that could set us all free to resolve conflicts (large and small), create solutions (at home and in the world), and live at peace. It is one thought away from every person on the planet.

To find that thought — whatever healing insight is needed for the situation(s) we are in — all we need is a moment of truth, a moment in which we see for ourselves that we are creating our reality, and we can change it, a moment of quietude into which wisdom flows.

Here is a little talk I offered in 2013 about finding peace on earth, my vision for the 21st Century:

 

 

The post Right and Wrong: Painful Thoughts appeared first on Three Principles Living.

I am no longer an alcoholic

Sally Wyse shares her story of transformation. She had an addiction to alcohol for years and lost her job, friends and family because of it. Through insight on hearing about the Three Principles, she has turned that around and is no longer an alcoholic. Listen to Sally as she shares candidly.

 

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