It started with a game

Louise Storey“Isn’t it funny you don’t realise what you have until you don’t have it anymore? Usually we mean this to be something we’ve lost that we treasure. In this case losing something has been the best thing that has happened to me and my family. Let me explain…”

As a teenager I remember feeling self conscious, lonely and depressed once or twice to the point of wanting to end my life. I didn’t even know what depression was then, the label came a few years later and I self diagnosed myself. I didn’t talk to anyone about my feelings, I just sat in my room, thinking and thinking and imagining how life was so different for me than everyone else. I learned to put on a good front / mask.

Anyway swipe through to a few years later, I didn’t do bad at all in my life I have a wonderful loving, caring, understanding husband of 12 years, I have 2 beautiful children and loving parents. I also had a well paid job that I loved and was good at.

However, I still had self doubt, I cared a lot what others thought and I lived my life and made decisions based on outside influences such as friends, family, adverts, society etc etc…I thought this was just the way life was….there was however, something constant in my life though, episodes of depression, sometimes they’d camp out for one or two days and other times they really move in and stayed for longer and dragged me down deeper. I coped though, tablets sometimes, acupuncture, reading all about it, drinking, diet changes etc etc

I got through some pretty traumatic times and was quite grateful for getting through 3 IVF rounds, split from my husband for 6 months, 24 week premature baby and then the diagnosis of my eldest child on the autism spectrum, without ending up in a straight jacket.

I went back to a full-time full on IT travelling job when my children were still young and hired childcare. I loved the freedom that my job was giving me and I spent 1 year putting my all into getting up and running after being 6 years out of corporate life.

What I wasn’t focussing on though was the beauty of my children growing up in front of me. I thought that having more money and being a corporate working Mum was who I needed to be to have what everyone was saying “my identity”.
What I wasn’t focussing on was the wonderful husband (and parents) who were so patient with the stresses and strains of managing both our travel plans, jobs around the house at the weekend, the commitments of parenting (grandparenting) plus the biggest thing of all a constantly stressed out out wife / daughter.

So supposedly I “had it all”. So why then did I feel so unhappy most of the time? ….

I remember very clearly the day before I was going to go on holiday I was in a meeting in work and all the insecurities that I had about being back at work and who I was started to descend on me. I was shaking, I had thoughts about how rubbish I was at my job, I couldn’t do it, I was a fraud etc. I could hardly function in the meeting. I made a decision that made me feel better in that moment, I was going to hand my notice in when I got back from my holiday.

I read Jamie Smart’s Clarity book on holiday.

Something got my attention, but I really have no recollection what. I don;t think the words “three principles” or “Syd banks” even popped out as relevant to me at the time.

I played a bit with some of the ideas while I was still on holiday, giving people my full attention when they spoke to me for example…sounds simple doesn’t it? It was fun and I enjoyed trying out this new game.

So I went back to work and I thought I had nothing to loose as I was going to hand my notice in anyway, I tried out some things from the book, listening mainly with nothing on my mind… although back then I don’t think I really knew what that mean’t.

Almost instantly in a few days, I hadn’t got the insecure thoughts I’d had before the holiday, I just couldn’t imagine them anymore, I became curious about some other areas in the book, tried them out and saw more changes at work. Still a game.

Fast forward to the end of that year, I had gone from an average performer to a top performer at work and winning two awards – one of which was for innovation. I had never won an award in my life!

This really was interesting…so I read more books about something Jamie mentions in his book Three Principles and a welder from Scotland called Syd Banks…well living life started right there…

Its been nearly 20 months since I first read that book and I have been through such an amazing journey of learning and it still continues.

During a 6 month period I started to question why I was working in a full-time full on job. I would wake and have different thoughts everyday. One day I’d wake and I knew I loved my job, it was good money and I had got where I was with hard work, so I shouldn’t leave, then on the other days I’d wake with a pure longing to be with my children, and then as time went on I just knew it was the right time and place to be at home with my children and I’d just have to look for work around the childrens’ school hours. One fear I had at the time was would I have regrets if I left? I was frightened of regretful feelings, would I be able to cope being at home? Now I see what those fears were.

Finally I knew I could trust my wisdom fully and I realised I had to leave, so I handed my notice in. My company offered me all kinds of working hours and workarounds to keep a valuable employee, things I never would have ever dreamt of asking for in the first place. I stayed for another 6 months working around the needs of the children and still doing my job with less stress and doing more productive work than ever……and then one day I just knew it didn’t make sense anymore.

I have just had the most magical beautiful Summer with my family. No regrets about leaving work, very happy and content in all areas of my life.

Having spent time on Jamies’ year long practitioner course, deepening my understanding of the 3 principles, has truly had a transformative effect on my life and the people around me.

I knew from the beginning that “I was living in the feeling of my thinking of thought taking form in the moment” all the way through I knew this to some degree, but I kept getting caught up and sometimes even questioning whether it might be different in this situation.

Now I absolutely know that it works that way 100% of the time with no exceptions, yes there are times when I still get get caught out, but for me the more I trusted and “tested” situations out and saw that it was always that way, the implications on life have been enormous.

So going back to my opening line… what don’t I have anymore thats made me realise what I had?
I had a misunderstanding about how our reality gets created.

Taking away this misunderstanding allows me to constantly see the pain and unnecessary feelings that I once had and that people around me have.

Equally it enables me to see the beauty of the world around me, like family, nature and friendships, all my senses are alive to the world and allowing me to experience a richer world. The implications of this is slowing down, being present with loved ones.

We all love “How to’s”….but there really is no shelving problems, there is no shoving things under the carpet, there is no thought changing method, all there is to do is to understand how our thoughts create our feelings and reality in the moment.

Emotions, memories, beliefs… all thoughts in the moment. The only thing that can happen when you see this misunderstanding is the feeling and thoughts dissolve away or you have the choice to take no notice. It just doesn’t make sense any more.

Sometimes I forget the game and thats when I get hood winked into thinking that something other than my thinking is causing me stress, fear, pain, I have too much investment on an end result, that I don’t trust the inbuilt guidance system we have. That guidance system is what got me through teenage years, IVF, Premature baby stages, I am here safely DESPITE my misunderstanidng.

The misunderstanding

As a teenager I had no idea that all the thoughts I created about my self image, self loathing, what other people were saying about me, the lonely feelings were all created by me, not other people not teachers not my parents, not my body, my clumsy sociable ways. All thoughts created by me…never questioned, and yes a good downing of alcohol cured it all for a while.

“I had it all” – what did that mean? Who’s beliefs were they? Media / friends / society? If so why did I did still feel pain? Again never questioned any of this, why would I?

The traumas – how did I manage to show up everyday when I thought my little baby was going to die at the hospital? Even at that time I knew something was carrying me through.

I even thought it was Jamie’s book that gave me the good feelings and thoughts, I was caught again. Some people might read Jamie’s book and not see it. Some do and it takes longer, some immediately… without trying out “having nothing on my mind” I might never have seen it, through the judgement and beliefs I had about myself and the world.

Work, I truly and honestly thought that going to work would make me feel happy and give me my identity back.

I felt happy when I was working …..BUT it wasn’t the job that was making me happy. Remember at the beginning I wasn’t happy? I was insecure. Then my state of mind and thinking about the job changed as I understood more…more clarity mean’t I had the ability to enjoy the job, but the job was still the same, the people were still the same. For me I was playing the game well, but then I realised I was playing the wrong game.

I thought that giving up my job and being with the children would make me happy. That situation had nothing to do with it. I was able to trust my wisdom that it was the right thing to do at this moment in time. Following wisdom meant the decision came with no regrets or guilt.

Why am I telling you this?

So why am I sharing this information?

From someone who was not looking for herself, thought she had it all in life and thats as good as it got and had to live with painful feelings and thoughts, who doesn’t come from a formal coaching, mentoring or teaching background. I know from living through all my experiences in life with the misunderstanding, I can now see what caused me so much unnecessary pain.

I now know my job in life is to share this with others, to ease their suffering and pain.
…..

I am no longer an alcoholic

Sally Wyse shares her story of transformation. She had an addiction to alcohol for years and lost her job, friends and family because of it. Through insight on hearing about the Three Principles, she has turned that around and is no longer an alcoholic. Listen to Sally as she shares candidly.

 

My story – what has coming across The Three Principles meant to me?

Mick TomlinsonWhen I try and remember how life was before I came across The Principles, I think my fundamental belief was: “Life is difficult, but how we think about it can make a difference – and we have to work at that in order to counteract the hardships out there.”

I studied (and taught) Tai Chi so that I could interact with life with as much ease and grace as possible – trying to remain centred amidst inevitable stresses. I studied and practiced Tibetan Buddhism because its teachers seemed to have all the answers to life’s mysteries. These studies helped to maintain a positive attitude in the midst of challenges, but in addition, I wanted something which would help me interact with life in a more practical, day-to-day way. I thought I had found what I was looking for in NLP, where I developed new cognitive strategies, uncovered and transformed core limiting beliefs, and particularly loved working at ‘identity-level’ change – change which transformed how I fundamentally perceived myself and how I operated in the world.

All of these studies/practices were of huge benefit. But there was always the underlying notion that I needed to work harder… in order to develop myself more and to get better at dealing with life. “I should practice more than I do…” or “I need to go on another training that will give me more skills/understanding.”

In 2001, after several years of struggling with a ‘lack of life purpose’ and feeling seriously depressed about how stressful life was, I developed a sclerosis on the spinal chord – a health issue that has symptoms of mild Multiple Sclerosis. From when I was age three, I had watched my mother live with, and finally die from, MS. So, when I received the diagnosis with the word “sclerosis” in it, there was some charge attached to it – as you might imagine.

My ‘self-development’ had taught me to watch out for the kind of thinking which believed I might be following in my mother’s footsteps, and to watch out for making meaning out of the diagnosis. Generally, I ‘managed my state of mind’ pretty well. I also practiced a type of healing qigong – another tool that helped me manage my physical and mental state. But, much of the time I felt very stuck – and couldn’t see a way forward… “life’s difficulties” were getting the better of me. I was doing doggy-paddle out in the ocean and Life’s waves were getting bigger!

In 2012, I came across The Three Principles via Michael Neil’s “Coaching from the Inside Out” online course. I thought I would be learning new techniques for learning to be a better coach, or perhaps some new self-development tips that I could apply to help me deal with life with new strategies I hadn’t yet come across. I wasn’t expecting to have my life-view turned inside out, or my whole reality brought into question! Some days after listening to the audio recordings, I saw the enormous truth that we can only ever have a psychological experience of the world. The world itself does not gives us experience – rather, I saw that my experience was being created from Thought, moment to moment. And by its nature, Thought can change.

In the moments after that first insight, all those periods of my life where I had felt truly stuck, at the mercy of outside circumstances, came rushing to mind and I saw how I had, in reality, been a victim of my own thinking – the ‘outside’ couldn’t have made me feel that way… it was not possible. In fact, I had never actually known what was really “out there”, because I could only ever experience it via the power of my own thinking. To know that all of my life’s challenges up to that point were not as they had appeared… was pretty humbling! At the same time, I was astounded that I had never been shown this understanding before. I had such a sense of the potential available to us in every moment – in an instant the future was suddenly available again.

In that first year came many new insights – some big, some small – into how Thought created my moods, my perspective, and my sense of self. I often felt truly happy for no reason, and saw that happiness wasn’t something that needed to be gained or worked towards – rather it was the default state when there was less on my mind. I saw the benefits of doing less thinking or analysis as it applied to my physical health as well. I was greatly impacted by a video with Marilyn Wendler (http://www.threeprinciplesmovies.com/painmarilyn/ http://www.threeprinciplesmovies.com/pain-marilyn/ ) who had caught on to the separation between physical sensation and wellbeing, and I too started seeing how my physical downturns (or worsening of symptoms) didn’t have to automatically mean anything – I didn’t have to feel down and depressed whenever my body was exhausted. My body always recovered quicker by itself if I didn’t start thinking the worst or fearing for the future.

Now, in my day to day life, seeing the truth that my physical circumstance does not dictate my feeling (my mood, or my spirits), has been the foundation for a new contentment and ease in life. I didn’t have to go looking for it, or work harder to deserve it – it was there built-in to the mechanism of how the mind and body work together. And I am so grateful for being shown this mechanism by the teachers of this understanding – especially of course Syd Banks for being able to articulate what he saw.

As someone who has spent a lot of time being conscious (mindful) of physical sensation, I now see that the mind comes before the body – even though it doesn’t look that way. For quite a long time, I’d had quite a fear of flying, and on the last time I flew to Greece, there was a lot of ‘very scary turbulence’. I was very mindful of each and every sensation in my body being created by the movement of the plane, and didn’t like what I felt! Then, a phrase came to mind that I had heard Keith Blevens say: “We cannot be made to feel anything we don’t think.” Hearing a phrase like that in such moments, calls my understanding into question – part of me responded with “Yeah, right – the plane is definitely making me feel frightened!” But at the same time, I knew enough to trust that Keith wasn’t just saying that as a ‘good idea’, so I kept exploring the links between the fear, the turbulence and the sensations… trying to see the truth of the mechanism. And there it was…

…The plane was not causing the fear; the sensations were not causing the fear. It wasn’t possible for fear to be created from the outside – because fear itself is thought! It’s thought giving meaning to sensation, not the other way round. That was a beautiful moment. Once again I was shown the awesome power of Thought. And at the same time, I felt powerful… something I had been afraid of for so long, no longer could have the power I had given it.

In just over three years, I have seen so much by way of this understanding; and the beauty is that there is so much more – there’s no end to what can be seen. If I was to revisit my previous ‘world view’, it would now go something like: “Life is Life. Our thinking, moment to moment, creates our experience of it – and we don’t have to work at changing that, because it’s possible to see that all hardships aren’t actually out there in the first place.”

Excerpt from the Telesummit 2014 with Dr Bill Pettit and Sue Pankiewicz

Dr Bill Pettit

Bill Pettit: I headed up an adolescent unit in a state hospital in North-West Iowa for just under two years, and it was a 30 bed unit with ages eight to 18 – it had 12 female beds and 18 male beds. And you have to burn some bridges you know, in order to get into the state hospital system. But I agree totally with you (Sue) that we’re much more alike than we are separate and what really hit me which I knew already, is the saying, “People do not care what you know, until they know that you care.” If that’s true of everybody, which I think it is, it’s especially true of adolescents. They’ve had so many people innocently telling them what to do and which way they should look and putting all kinds of directives and shoulds, on them, and it hasn’t worked out very well, and so to have somebody who truly cares and also sees the health in them – they’re more than open to that, they really want that.

I think you brought up a great point about the difference between, it’s a huge point, you saw the difference between the way you were with your daughter at the beginning and the way you were with the young people that you worked with. And we so easily have been told, or bought into that being invested in the outcome is part of caring and it’s not.  And I think when we get invested – you know you were obviously at some level much more invested in the outcome with your daughter and your wisdom guided you to see that that was getting in the way for the love that you have for her. Am I saying that correctly?

Sue Pankiewicz: Yes, absolutely.

Bill Pettit: Whereas with the other young people that you worked with, it doesn’t mean that you didn’t care deeply for them but you were able to not be invested. I’ve had a number of patients tell me, less so as the years have gone by, I think because I’ve become less invested in the outcomes. And that sounds funny, I’ve had a number of patients years ago say, “The day that you quit being invested in me getting better, allowed me to get better… because your ego was no longer tied up in whether I got better or not. You weren’t going to see yourself as a failure or as a great psychiatrist because I got better or didn’t. You were just present, giving the love and sharing the Principles as deeply as you could, and you trusted that whatever would happen from that would be enough, whether it was today, whether it was six months from now or whether it was a year from now.”

And I literally had a patient one time, who, when I left Florida in 1990 and went to the state hospital where I was supposed to have a Three Principles program that the funding got cut from in 1990, but about a year or 14 months after I left, (she had been badly injured in an accident, had chronic back pain and severe depression), about 14 months after I left Florida, she woke up one morning and she had a very profound insight about the Principles. And she circled the date on the calendar and waited one full year before she wrote me a letter because she wanted to make sure that it was real (chuckling) – isn’t that something? I mean, it happened 14 months after I left and then she waited a year and she wrote me this wonderful letter which I have, this wonderful four or five page thing and it’s in poetry and she talks about her short trips to hell. Even now, with her thinking, she’ll take a short trip but it is a short trip. When she starts feeling the heat she turns back around! (SM & SP chuckling in background) And goes back home, you know. And I thought that was very powerful, the point being, to the degree that we trust Mind, and we trust the innate health in people and that spark of divinity, then we no longer have to be invested in the outcome. We just give what we have as purely and as lovingly as we can and it takes the burden off. It frees up the joy of sharing. Because there isn’t the burden of expectation.

Sue PankiewiczSue Pankiewicz: It’s essentially impossible to find that joy if you’re looking for it… you know, when you start looking for it, you’ve already got an idea of what it will be like and then you start thinking, “well what’s getting in the way?” and you start working on that. Well, the minute you step back *boing*! (Bill chuckling) And you know I laugh – I just think back now and have even more thoughts coming about – I just kept thinking I was the one with the knowledge, I was the one with the wisdom, I was the one that could direct this recovery, and you know, I was pretty… I think to myself, “what tolerance she had of this woman, this mother, who would come along and say all this stuff to her!” Literally I couldn’t hear her, but she said to me one day – we were joking and I was apologizing because the last time I had seen her, I had been very critical about something, I can’t remember what it was, and I said, “Oh I’m just so sorry. I never want to say anything critical, I want to come along and just be have a lovely time.” And she said, “Mum, it’s alright, I just put it into a joke, I just say to myself, “mothers make the worst guests because they’re the ones who’ll tell you what they really think.” So she turned it round in her wisdom to say, “It’s not personal, it’s my Mum! She’s doing the best she can.” You know, I’m kind of awed by that because it strips me back, it shuts me up, it knocks me down to being who I really am below all this nonsense about, you know, initially the “failed parent,” the shame of it… you know, maybe it takes a while for us to be able to see all that absolute nonsense that we’ve been carrying around that looked really true and real.

Excerpt from 2015 telesummit on Research with Jack Pransky and Tom Kelly



Jack_Pransky_Close_UpJack Pransky
:  We would encourage everyone who is running any kind of program applying the 3 Principles understanding to what helps people improve their mental health to use this inventory that measures 3 Principles understanding and those insights into thought recognition and inner health via a clear mind that we were talking about earlier.   Along with some other accepted measures of improved mental health  we can build up a body of evidence using the same kind of scale that will eventually  be able to make a huge difference in people’s lives.  I just wanted to throw that in as an encouragement.

Dr_Kelley1 (1)Tom Kelly:  Absolutely, and if people are not sure what instruments to use because they may vary and probably will vary depending on the population you are training, please feel free to contact me (email: aa5216@wayne.edu).   If I think Jack can help I will try to persuade him after I hear from whoever contacts me since he is so busy.

The other thing is if anybody knows of any other people in academia who are involved with the Principles who may be interested in joining with Jack and I and others on doing more research, I can’t tell you how much fun it was to be able to interact with Jack on this and with others.  The problem is in order to do this right, in my opinion, at least up to this point, at this point now we have the instruments so somebody who doesn’t even know about the Principles could actually do a study using our instruments.  But up until this point, it was necessary to have people who understood the Principles and also had some understanding of research.  Those 2 were very important and I’m privileged and I know Jack, Linda Ramus and Judy Sedgeman are too, to be 4 people who have had somewhat decent amount of both of those.

 

You can find the 3Pi posted on the Three Principles Movies site:  http://www.threeprinciplesmovies.com/resources/research/

 

I think I’m not good enough, but really I am not listening with Molly Gordon

molly_embrace_500wSomething I noticed a couple of weeks ago was it looked to me like clients (and I could see it in myself too) would sometimes be looking for answers to questions that actually weren’t the questions Life was asking in the moment.

We get an idea in the moment and ask the question, “am I good enough to do this work?”, when the real question is: “what’s this moment calling for?  What’s showing up right in front of me? What does this kid need?  What is my heart telling me?”

We are all good enough. I think every human being is good enough to get the message in the moment, whatever that message is. I was joking with a client who was looking for the message about her business and I said well maybe the message is get a pedicure! Or bake the cookies, or teach algebra, or grade the papers, or write the emails. Sometimes, it looks like we get wrapped up in the questions and miss out on the answers that are sitting right in front of us. We are all good enough to get exactly the guidance we need in the moment it’s just that sometimes I look for something different, I think I need a different type of guidance, you know, I want it to be bigger guidance, or deeper guidance or whatever, and then I think I’m not good enough, but really I am not listening.

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One of the things that occurred to me as I was listening to Ami speak is the distinction between worthiness and competence.

Worthiness is not negotiable, it is a given and worthiness doesn’t actually attach to that personality that “I”ness, that personal self. Competence, whether it’s creating a wedding cake or teaching math or breaking up a fight, do I have the skills?  I don’t know.

What came to me when listening to you (Ami) is that in any moment we can show up and do what we can with what we’ve got.  If we are not wrapped up in worrying about whether we are good enough, at least for me if I’m not wrapped up in that conversation,  I tend to be better at gauging where I am, what is in front of me and what I have to work with.  But when I am with a client or anywhere in my life and I am worrying about how I am showing up or how I am doing then I start 2nd guessing myself and I disconnect from the person right in front of me or the situation.  I can’t do my best whatever that means if I am disconnected.

I keep hearing George Pransky in the back of my mind saying “that’s above my pay grade!” *It occurs to me that sometimes I start trying to work and think above my pay grade. In other words, we get into a territory, or my mind takes me to a territory outside of what I actually know and what I know how to do. And then I leave the territory of where I am good enough (the competence) and don’t feel good enough and it’s because I am trying to be beyond my pay grade. And every time I settle back down and just deal with where I am and what I’ve got and also have some trust that the other person has resources that are unknown to me, then things tend to fall into place.

Inside Out and Road Rage

Patricia TothTurning yourself inside out may sound funny, weird even. You might be perplexed not knowing what it means.   Or, seeing the deeper dimension of meaning could create a real “Buddha” belly laugh!  There are endless possibilities.  That’s the point.

The Principles of Mind, Consciousness, and Thought (as uncovered by the extraordinary insights of Sydney Banks) are pointers to a different and better way of seeing life because they are simple and give us relief of trying so hard to figure out all the variables. In other words, the deeper I understand life from the inside out via the Principles, the higher states of conscious awareness I experience, and the easier my life is….well, most of the time. But like yesterday, I had a real emotional melt down in a fit of road rage at “an idiot driver” (just my opinion of course).

The difference was I was watching myself lose it.  I knew my fit of rage would eventually pass.  I just couldn’t stop myself in the moment. I had “touched the hot iron” so to speak and I knew I would have to cool down.  So, I did my best to do no harm to anyone else, except maybe myself by screaming like a maniac alone in my car.  Huffing and puffing and wearing myself out for a few minutes. I could actually see my thoughts as they went from rage to confusion to sheepishness and, yes, a bit of shame for being even worse than the supposed offensive driver.

You might say my wisdom and common sense went to sleep. And in my sleep I had a nightmare. But even in the nightmare I was a lucid dreamer to some extent because I was the observer of the dream.  I couldn’t even believe it was really me acting in such a negative way because I knew it wasn’t real. It was an illusion of my thinking.  My stubborn ego got in the way, and so I suffered.

Afterwards, I realized that I had been way outside of myself caught up in the world of form. And the paradox link, if you will, was thought. My thinking went down the tubes… temporarily. And my consciousness literally “dumbed down”. But only to a conscious state of being a hot head knowing she was being a hot head. The difference is magnificent. In my “heart of hearts” I knew “I” had lost it, that it wasn’t really the driver “doing it” to me, I saw the process if you will. And because of that I was able to get through it without much damage except a few minutes of high blood pressure and bad hormones pumping through my veins (not a good idea in excess). But It’s quite amazing to me that we as human beings can use these simple Principles in such a profound way to explain, well, anything!  They give us such rich ground to stand on, that we can walk through life with more ease and security, knowing the paradoxical nature of life.

Possibly the best part is….I didn’t hang onto the negative aftermath. I was able to let it go and not add it to a bag of bad memories, self-doubt, or insecurity. It was simply over and I carried a learning forward, which I am now sharing with you.

So the next time you “loose it” see if you can stop, breath, and turn yourself inside out.

 

Patricia A Toth

http://thechrysaliscounselingcenter.com/patricia/

Excerpt from Telesummit 2014 by Dave Nichols

daveWe had one session at the school with parents. And this is just an hour and a half session one evening and after we had a nice meal. And about an hour into the session, this one woman just kind of made a side comment, or side gesture really, and it was like “Wow!” And of course we all kind of stopped and looked at her and asked her, “What was the thought that came across your mind just then?”

And she said, “I just realized something – I just realized that my child can have a bad day just like me.”

And for that person to have understood that it wasn’t her responsibility to make her child have a good day; that it wasn’t her responsibility to train the child or to enforce a process for her to live better and enjoy life; that it was ok for her four year old daughter to just have a bad day, and all she needed to do was just love her. And that was so transformative for everyone in the room to see that.

Well, the end result of that sort of story was that within about two months, that woman volunteered and became the President of the PTA. And when she did that, she became the first parent in the school to become President of the PTA.

The school is 100% free and reduced lunch, which is a way of saying, in the States here anyway, that all of the families who have children in that school are living in basic level of poverty; that they actually qualify for assistance for food that they can get at the school. So very few parents would even come to a PTA meeting, let alone see the value of participating in the school. But for her to first see that her child could have a bad day and have that translate into, “I can not only love my child, I can love the teachers, and the school, and the other children, and share what I can with them,” – that was a huge transformation.

So it can happen in any minute, any time, any day, but those are just a couple of examples from my experience that I think are telling for how quickly the Principles can be transformative. As Syd said, “We’re always just one thought away.”

 

Excerpt from Telesummit 2014 by Jenny Kennard

jennyQuestion: “If wisdom is our default setting and built into us, why do most people seem so unaware and disconnected from it? Wouldn’t it come more easily?”

Answer:  It’s funny. I look back even before knowing the Principles and it was interesting to me to see some of the times in my life when I really struggled, that wisdom was still there – my common sense, my gut instinct was still there, but I didn’t know to listen to it. And I think coming across the Principles when I did, wasn’t like suddenly I had wisdom – I saw wisdom had been there and I’d not listened.

I’d got so caught up in a world… you know we’re surrounded by advertising and television programs and we go to school and there’s all of this conditioning kind of happening, which is telling us that we need something in the world to be a particular way for us to feel ok. So we’re almost living in a world where it’s pointing us in the wrong direction constantly. And I feel like this is a gentle reminder of looking within ourselves.

As Elsie was saying with the children, they drew out the wisdom from the children. They hadn’t taught them the Principles but the wisdom was there. What do these children want? What dreams did they have? And they just got them in communication and then they lit up. It wasn’t told to them, you know you need to try and unite different cultures and faiths from around the world. That was their vision. You know these are young children and I think, even though our common sense and our wisdom can be very covered up and very hidden, it seems that one thought later we can realize it. And when we know that it’s within us, we kind of look to it.

I didn’t know I was a wise person and I didn’t know that… I remember one of the things said on the course, which we had a video of Sydney Banks playing and he said, “there is no one more wise that you.” Everyone has access to that same wisdom. And I didn’t know that before. I thought there was someone out there who was wiser than me that could fix me. I didn’t know that there was something in me that could move me forward and change me.

And I love that this is going to get out to youth because when you tell them that they have common sense, they have wisdom, they have insight available to them, they know to look for it. And I guess I feel that’s maybe what’s been missing, that we’ve been so busy putting information into children and telling them how to be and what to do, that we’ve forgotten that they already have ideas and they kind of know how to move forward.

So it’s that real balance I guess with education, of teaching them about the world, and about English and maths, but also drawing out from them that already present wisdom. Because I know that for me, I felt that I didn’t really know anything and I needed people to tell me. I didn’t know it was available so I didn’t know where to look.

So I don’t know if that kind of answers it but in my opinion, it’s that we are bombarded with information telling us that we need something else to be ok. And what I heard in that first course was that I have everything I need within me, to then go out into the world and do things, but there was nothing that I needed externally to be ok. And that was very, very new to me

Jenny Kennard

www.innatewellbeing.co.uk

www.threeprinciplesmovies.com

The Effects of Anger by Bryan Ryan

bryan photoI had a client last year, a woman in her 50’s who lived in the rough inner city. She was the “salt of the earth” kind of person, who lived with a lot of anger in her life. Her 16 yr old daughter was wild, and the two of them would have countless arguments between them. She also had Crohn’s disease which was flaring up quite a lot as well.

The meeting with me was probably the first time she was able to sit down and have any kind of a peaceful conversation with anyone. Now this lady is smart, street smart, she needed to be to get by from day to day.

Within about 30 minutes of talking together I had the opportunity of teaching her in very simple terms how thought works, that every feeling of anger that she was experiencing was simply created by her own thoughts, that she was in fact making these thoughts up, just like a Hollywood producer makes up a movie from the vivid imagination of their own mind.

And she saw it, very quickly. The affect was instantaneous, it’s as if all of a sudden the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders, and she knew that she was going to be ok from that moment on.

When she came back to see me a week later, she told me that her relationship with her daughter had improved dramatically, because she herself, had been a lot calmer during the week. Her neighbour commented that she heard her singing in the morning, and wondered what was up.

She only needed to see me one more session, as so much had changed in her life for the better. On top of that she said that the wrinkles on her forehead had disappeared, as well as the swelling in her ankles. Her Crohn’s disease also did not flare up anything like before.

The effect of a calm mind has huge implications for the health of the body. Our bodies are made up of about 50 trillion cells, and each cell is being turned on and off by the chemistry in the blood. Since the chemistry of the blood is changed moment to moment by our thinking, so our thinking is directly causing cells to turn on and off. Stressful thinking is turning good cells off and bad cells on.

And after a matter of only about one half hour of negative thinking this has changed the physical body itself. The word “disease” is lack of “ease”.

The trick is to marinate in the sweet spot of calmness, as much as possible, as that’s where all the goodies are, and that’s it in a nutshell.

Bryan Ryan (Mental Health Educator)

www.miltonclinic.ie