European Tour – Sunday’s Seven Words

May 14. Sunday.

I just had the best Three Principles Parenting training experience I ever had. In Carpi, Italy I don’t know where the things came from that came out of my mouth but they sounded great to me. I don’t see how any parent or teacher could have come out of that training not having a better relationship with their kids, Got good feedback too so it wasn’t just in my own thinking. Very happy about it.

Maybe you didn’t know that if people grasped the meaning of these 7 words, the relationship with their kids would be great!
Love, Wisdom, Seeing, Listening, Moods, Learning, Understanding.
I’ll add one for me now: Exhausted.

It was great to see Allesandro and Chiara again, as well as my new friends Simona and Monica and Graziana who did a spectacular job translating.

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European Tour – Saturday Parenting from the Heart

May 13, Saturday.

This was a good day, and I feel very lighthearted right now. This morning I had time to myself so I caught up on a few things, then I took a walk around a tennis club right behind the hotel. Then I met Monica and Simona to set up the training room, went and had lunch at Monica’s house (her husband cooked rice), and then it was time to begin the training, which is essentially on parenting and teaching from the heart.

This first afternoon I primarily had to help them understand the Three Principles and use parenting examples. But at the end of the day I also read a chapter to them from my brand-new book, Seduced by Consciousness, because I have a chapter in there that relates to parenting and ego. This was an experiment because I don’t think I’ve ever read a chapter of my book in a training before. I think it worked okay because I think it’s a great chapter, but it was probably little cumbersome because of the translation. Graziana did a great job translating for me today. Some people seemed to get out a lot out of the training so far, but so it felt good.

And then Monica, Simona, and Graziana all went out for some pizza, which was a lot better than the first pizza I had here. The real nice thing is I got back early because tomorrow is the rest of an all-day training.

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How to Enjoy Being Wrong

By Ami Chen Mills-Naïm Most of us hate to be wrong. Being wrong seems like some kind of weakness. It’s embarrassing to be proven wrong. We thought we were so right, convinced we were! And then some new fact, or piece of information punctures our self-righteous bubble. From my view,[…]

I am no longer an alcoholic

Sally Wyse shares her story of transformation. She had an addiction to alcohol for years and lost her job, friends and family because of it. Through insight on hearing about the Three Principles, she has turned that around and is no longer an alcoholic. Listen to Sally as she shares candidly.

 

Bouncing Back! Resilience for Ourselves Means Resilience for Our Families

This morning saw a major kerfuffle in our household. Has this happened to you? You wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and then your kid or someone else in your family has a bad moment, and you react, they react—and thus ensues a delightful downward spiral of[…]

Top Six Parenting Tips

For nearly 20 years, I have worked as a trainer and consultant in schools, and with parents and teachers across the country, and the globe. I have found myself in a broad range of settings, from the inner city, to Native American reservations to the Mississippi Delta, and the upscale[…]

Excerpt from the Telesummit 2014 with Dr Bill Pettit and Sue Pankiewicz

Dr Bill Pettit

Bill Pettit: I headed up an adolescent unit in a state hospital in North-West Iowa for just under two years, and it was a 30 bed unit with ages eight to 18 – it had 12 female beds and 18 male beds. And you have to burn some bridges you know, in order to get into the state hospital system. But I agree totally with you (Sue) that we’re much more alike than we are separate and what really hit me which I knew already, is the saying, “People do not care what you know, until they know that you care.” If that’s true of everybody, which I think it is, it’s especially true of adolescents. They’ve had so many people innocently telling them what to do and which way they should look and putting all kinds of directives and shoulds, on them, and it hasn’t worked out very well, and so to have somebody who truly cares and also sees the health in them – they’re more than open to that, they really want that.

I think you brought up a great point about the difference between, it’s a huge point, you saw the difference between the way you were with your daughter at the beginning and the way you were with the young people that you worked with. And we so easily have been told, or bought into that being invested in the outcome is part of caring and it’s not.  And I think when we get invested – you know you were obviously at some level much more invested in the outcome with your daughter and your wisdom guided you to see that that was getting in the way for the love that you have for her. Am I saying that correctly?

Sue Pankiewicz: Yes, absolutely.

Bill Pettit: Whereas with the other young people that you worked with, it doesn’t mean that you didn’t care deeply for them but you were able to not be invested. I’ve had a number of patients tell me, less so as the years have gone by, I think because I’ve become less invested in the outcomes. And that sounds funny, I’ve had a number of patients years ago say, “The day that you quit being invested in me getting better, allowed me to get better… because your ego was no longer tied up in whether I got better or not. You weren’t going to see yourself as a failure or as a great psychiatrist because I got better or didn’t. You were just present, giving the love and sharing the Principles as deeply as you could, and you trusted that whatever would happen from that would be enough, whether it was today, whether it was six months from now or whether it was a year from now.”

And I literally had a patient one time, who, when I left Florida in 1990 and went to the state hospital where I was supposed to have a Three Principles program that the funding got cut from in 1990, but about a year or 14 months after I left, (she had been badly injured in an accident, had chronic back pain and severe depression), about 14 months after I left Florida, she woke up one morning and she had a very profound insight about the Principles. And she circled the date on the calendar and waited one full year before she wrote me a letter because she wanted to make sure that it was real (chuckling) – isn’t that something? I mean, it happened 14 months after I left and then she waited a year and she wrote me this wonderful letter which I have, this wonderful four or five page thing and it’s in poetry and she talks about her short trips to hell. Even now, with her thinking, she’ll take a short trip but it is a short trip. When she starts feeling the heat she turns back around! (SM & SP chuckling in background) And goes back home, you know. And I thought that was very powerful, the point being, to the degree that we trust Mind, and we trust the innate health in people and that spark of divinity, then we no longer have to be invested in the outcome. We just give what we have as purely and as lovingly as we can and it takes the burden off. It frees up the joy of sharing. Because there isn’t the burden of expectation.

Sue PankiewiczSue Pankiewicz: It’s essentially impossible to find that joy if you’re looking for it… you know, when you start looking for it, you’ve already got an idea of what it will be like and then you start thinking, “well what’s getting in the way?” and you start working on that. Well, the minute you step back *boing*! (Bill chuckling) And you know I laugh – I just think back now and have even more thoughts coming about – I just kept thinking I was the one with the knowledge, I was the one with the wisdom, I was the one that could direct this recovery, and you know, I was pretty… I think to myself, “what tolerance she had of this woman, this mother, who would come along and say all this stuff to her!” Literally I couldn’t hear her, but she said to me one day – we were joking and I was apologizing because the last time I had seen her, I had been very critical about something, I can’t remember what it was, and I said, “Oh I’m just so sorry. I never want to say anything critical, I want to come along and just be have a lovely time.” And she said, “Mum, it’s alright, I just put it into a joke, I just say to myself, “mothers make the worst guests because they’re the ones who’ll tell you what they really think.” So she turned it round in her wisdom to say, “It’s not personal, it’s my Mum! She’s doing the best she can.” You know, I’m kind of awed by that because it strips me back, it shuts me up, it knocks me down to being who I really am below all this nonsense about, you know, initially the “failed parent,” the shame of it… you know, maybe it takes a while for us to be able to see all that absolute nonsense that we’ve been carrying around that looked really true and real.

Everyday Satsang

Satsang is a Sanskrit word meaning “association with Truth,” or with “the Self.” In Hindu, Buddhist and other Eastern religious—and spiritual—worlds, this is a very common word that usually means: people coming together to listen to, to be with a spiritual teacher, and with each other, to “attend Satsang.” But[…]

Everyday Satsang

Satsang is a Sanskrit word meaning “association with Truth,” or with “the Self.” In Hindu, Buddhist and other Eastern religious—and spiritual—worlds, this is a very common word that usually means: people coming together to listen to, to be with a spiritual teacher, and with each other, to “attend Satsang.” But[…]