Experience and Reality

One of the central tenets of my work is reminding people of the futility and risk in trying to fix, fight, control, or alter their experiences. If you’re reading this article and don’t know much about my work, that might surprise you. You might wonder why, if you’re having a bad or, let’s say, anxious experience, it’s not in your best interest to fix it?

Here’s the short answer: What you experience isn’t real. And you can’t fix something that’s not real.

To demonstrate: Let’s say you’re an ice hockey player and you’re in the midst of an awful experience. It looks like your coach doesn’t care about you, and he’s treating you poorly. As a result of this experience, you’re feeling more and more upset. You’re getting angry and frustrated. You want relief from the feelings, which you think your coach is causing.

But what if I told you that you aren’t actually experiencing your coach at all? What if your coach has nothing to do with your feelings?

Well, you aren’t and he doesn’t.

How do I know? Slowly, I mean super slowly, consider this question: Independent of the ability to have an experience, does your coach, or any object, even exist? The answer is . . . no. Take away the power TO experience and there’s no coach. And that means your coach can’t be causing your upset.

It’s mind bending at times to see, but your experiences in life are nothing more than a spontaneous projection from inside to out. Sure, it’s fun to hang out in the projection, to use the projection for human wants and needs, and to be the best you can be within the projection. It’s just essential to know that while it seems real, feels real, and looks real, this projection (what you experience) never is.

To play the game, you must understand that it is a game (i.e., not real). As mentioned above, it’s futile—not to mention extremely taxing and potentially harmful—to try to fix experience. Now you have a glimpse as to why.

Inward and up,
Garret

Jack Pransky’s Autumn European Trip – November 4

November 4, Saturday

The first day of the Viva event. I had thought I was peopled-out, but when I got over to Viva, it was wonderful to see everyone. I had Mick take my box of books over to the other hotel and I walked there this morning. Jan helped me sell them, very kindly. When I got there, the first thing I was asked was if I would be willing to take Peter Anderson’s place to facilitate a breakout group with Amanda O’Shea on well-being, because Peter was sick. Since Amanda asked me, I agreed and it turned out to be a good experience. I also really liked Elsie Spittle’s talk that morning. Both Elsie and I said how much we were looking forward to being on the same stage presenting together at the end of the Viva event, because we have never done that before. I then attended Jenny and Sue’s breakout on insights, which was very nice. For the afternoon break, Amanda asked me if I would be willing to have lunch with some people associated with the addictions rehab place she works at because they read my books. I am so impressed at what Amanda has been able to accomplish over there almost single-handedly. I enjoyed that luncheon too. But I did need to go back and take a nap before the session started again. After Rani Bora and Jenny’s session on mental health, then I did another breakout group on the health of the helper with Katja. Very few people attended but we had a nice, small little circle, and the time just flew by. Then Frederick accompanied a singer on guitar, and then played fiddle for the group, which was really nice. Then I met Rudy to plan for tomorrow’s presentation on Our True Essence. It was a busy but good day.

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November 4
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Jack Pransky’s Autumn European Tour – November 3

November 3, Friday.

Gabriela and I took the long walk to Altea. We had a really good and enlightening conversation, up in a little garden overlooking the sea with a view all the way to the Albir lighthouse and Benidorm. Up in Altea, we had brunch in the beautiful courtyard in front of the church, then went into the church, which is one of the most beautiful little churches I know. Then we did some shopping and more talking and walked back to Albir. Gabriela gave me shopping lessons. It was a great and very productive time. When I got back, I had a long and really nice Skype call with Nicole. Then I wheeled my clothes in my suitcase over to a distant hotel to do a laundry. I got there a little too late to have my clothes dry thoroughly, so I had to take them out of the dryer still damp, because it was time to get to the Viva presenters meeting—except that I wanted to get my bag of damp laundry hung out in my room before I went over there. But on my way I bumped into Lili walking in the other direction and she checked and found out the presenters meeting had just started. So I turned around with my suitcase full of damp clothes and walked with Lili over to the meeting at the other hotel. If I hadn’t bumped into her I may have missed it. As it is, I walked into the meeting late. But it was nice to see my fellow presenters, including Elsie and Rudy. Mick drove my bag of clothes and me back to the hotel Rober Palas, just in time for a late dinner.

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November 3
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Jack Pransky’s Autumn European Tour – November 2

November 2, Thursday.

Karen Raimbault, former trainee and now good friend and working partner, came for a visit, after visiting a friend of hers in Alicante. First, we hung out  with a bunch of the people with whom she had trained before, such as Sheela, Katja, Sally, Mick, Lise, Fredrik and Sue. Then after lunch Karen and I stopped at the gelato shop, where we had the ice cream man take a picture of us outside his shop with his sign behind us, so we could send it to Richard, our former ice cream buddy, and rub it in. Then we walked up to lighthouse and sat up on the high cliffs overlooking the sea, where we shouldn’t have gone, but hey… We had a great walk and talk, catching up after a long time. When we came down, Karen wanted to collect some of the round, smooth rocks from the beach. We grabbed a tea and talked about the project we are doing together. Karen then had to leave but that night after dinner, Fredrik told me he was going to play some fiddle tunes up in Katja’s room. So I went up there–Lili, Ylva and Gabriela joined us, and we had a great time. First, I played a video of my son Dave’s band, Locos Por Juana, and everyone really loved it. Then Lili played a video of her son’s band, and I really loved that. Then Katja and Fredrik put on a swing dancing exhibition; I couldn’t believe how graceful they were. Then Gabriela danced to mariachi music. Fredrik played the violin, improvising to all of it. Then he turned the violin into a fiddle and played his favorite, Irish music, and more. That boy is talented! I loved it all. Great day!

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November 2
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Jack Pransky’s Autumn European Tour — November 1

November 1, Wednesday.

My first of three free days! Big trek day today. Peter (Sue’s husband), Fredrik, Liliana and I hiked up the tallest mountain nearby, the name of which escapes me already, but it overlooks Guadalest. It was gorgeous up there, if cloudy and misty and chilly. Parts of it seemed like we were on Mars. We set a mean pace; it took everything I had to keep up. Parts of it were challenging. But it was oh, so worth it. We didn’t plan on going to the very top, but we did. Great company, too. All around great time. I had to get back for a 4:00 massage, so at 3:30 I took a bath and fell right asleep in the bathtub, but luckily not for long. Good massage. Then I was going to go out to a restaurant with Fredrik, Lili, Jo and Ylva, but instead chose to stay and eat in the hotel with Mick, Katja, Eimar, Sally and Lise. Best pallea yet! Most everyone is probably out partying, but I am going to sleep. I’m exhausted.

 

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November 1
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Jack Pransky’s Autumn European Tour — October 27-31

October 27-31. Friday through Tuesday.

The training retreat, “Helping Others to Transcend the Personal.” This was a wonderful experience. Great group of people, as usual. Some old friends, some new people. Very hands-on. After going around the circle with detailed introductions, with people speaking from the heart about their experience with the Three Principles, which created a beautiful feeling right from the start, we first helped people get on the same page about our two foci: 1) creation of illusion, and 2) essence and oneness. I briefly presented research corroborating these directions. To Gabriela and me this is what understanding the essence of the Three Principles is all about. Gabriela did a demonstration coaching session with Nicole. Gab and I go out of our way to create an environment of love and support, with the foundation of deeply listening. For some reason it enables an atmosphere to be built that is conducive to closeness, allowing people’s minds to calm down, which led to a lot of insights. We did a combination of demonstration counseling by both Gabriela and me, coaching in triads where everyone got a chance to experience being a coach, being a coachee and being an observer, and also a couple of representatives from the group demonstrated coaching in front of the full group and received feedback. We also took people behind the scenes of coaching and planning, which seemed to make them feel even more at ease. The combination of all these led to participants feeling much more comfortable about being a coach using the 3Ps and led to a very warm, loving feeling within the group. Somewhere in the middle of this retreat the training seemed to kick into a higher gear. The closing circle was touching and powerful, as people expressed their gratitude and the insights they had gained from the experience. We ended feeling very close, standing arm in arm in a circle singing “That’s What Friends are For.” This was fully a very beautiful training experience, interspersed in retreat format with afternoons on the beach by the sea, and meeting together again in the evening. The training ended at midday on the 31st, and those who remained all went out to dinner together at the Japanese restaurant where the food never stops coming, and I thought it was really good. Great time! It was sad to see people go, especially, for me, Nicole, who had to leave early, but about a third of the group is hanging around to go to the Viva conference.

 

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October 27-31
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Jack Pransky’s Autumn European Tour – October 22 – 26

October 22-26, 2017. Sunday through Thursday.

I have been very lax about blogging about my European trip this half-year. I will try to do my best to catch up, albeit briefly, and pick up regularly from there. This time I left from Charlottesville, Virginia, where I am now living, with the new love in my life. Very early in the morning Nicole and I drove to Richmond, where we began the itinerary from hell because it was so inexpensive compared to other flights we couldn’t pass it up, affordability-wise. From Richmond we flew to New York City, then to Boston, where we had such a long layover we actually took the T into the city and walked along the beautiful Charles River and lay on a dock in the sun. Then our redeye flight went to Dublin, then to London, then to Alicante, Spain, and we arrived late at night on the 23rd, where one of my favorite blokes, Yoga Mark, picked us up and drove us the hour to Albir. We probably didn’t get to bed that night until well after 1:30 AM. The next morning, Tuesday the 24th, was our day to recover from jet lag. In the morning we ran up the beautiful path to the lighthouse, but I couldn’t nearly keep up, so I never made it up the lighthouse before she turned around and passed me going in the other direction, so I turned around then, too. Then we walked down the path to one of my favorite peaceful places, on the rocks by the sea, where we sat and talked a while. That afternoon (I think), Sheela drove us to the old town-castle of Guadalest, and we had a really nice time. The next day Mark took Gabriela, Nicole and Jesus, a fellow he works with, on a trek up Bernia mountain, which I found love and found exhilarating and beautiful. The next day it was time for Gab and I to plan for the retreat; Nicole sat in.

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October 22 – 26
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Thought and Control

Here’s an interesting question that I was asked three times, just last week: “Why, as the years go by, do you seem to talk less and less about the principle of thought?” The answer is: At some point, it became clear to me that since human beings have so many conditioned or programmed ideas around THOUGHT, THOUGHTS, or THINKING, I’d be better off pointing to the power of this creative principle in another manner.

In other words, the man-made theory that we have the ability to control thought is so pervasive—and thus so personal—that, in my mind, there are diminishing returns in suggesting: “Your experience and feelings are 100 percent coming from thought, or thought in the moment, or the form your thinking is taking in the moment” . . . you know what I mean.

Now don’t get me wrong. 100 percent of your experience IS coming from the principle of thought in the moment. But I’m in the coaching or helping-to-bring-out-the-best-in-others business; not the perfect-explanation business. My role is to expose how thought works sans the false implication that those I’m talking to possess the personal power to control it. Reason being: The illusion of personal control is the source of all suffering and, for the most part, people have trouble disassociating THOUGHT and CONTROL.

So how’s it done? How do I point others to the fact that they work from the inside-out or that their thinking, rather than circumstance, is causing their experience of life? Well, for those who don’t know, I liken the principle of thought to energy—spiritual or divine. Most people simply don’t view energy as something they’re in charge of. Therefore, reminding them that their feeling state is derived from energy coming and going within—and not from the outside—has proven effective.

Remember: In this article, I’m merely revealing what’s logical to me, and what appears to be helpful to those with whom I work. I’m not suggesting that energy is the right word or that this is the way I’ll always see it. For now, however, describing the indescribable (thought) starts with the stripping away of conditioned definitions, word associations, and habits. Thought management is so culturally ingrained that it makes sense to consider a different path inward. At least it does to me. Perhaps, in your own way, it will to you, too.

Thanks for reading (and considering),
Garret

The Meaning of Inside-Out

Today, I offer you good news and not-so-good news.

First, the good: As I travel around, speaking to teams, organizations, and audiences, it’s obvious that more and more people are relating to, and even promoting, the spiritual principle that human beings create their experience from inside to out.

Now, the not-so-good: Many teams, organizations, and audiences are missing the mark when it comes to what inside-out truly means.

That’s why, in this article, I’m going to do my best to clarify.

Let’s start with this question regarding the second half of the term inside-out: What does “out,” or the outside, actually point to? The answer is anything not on the inside (I know that’s obvious, but hang in with me here). We’re talking about the circumstances of your life, other people, environments, events, the past, and the future. They are all outside.

Make sense? Cool. Let’s keep going.

But what if I also mentioned that the person reading this article—YOU—is on the outside, too? That’s right; you, your behavior, looks, health, brain, belief system, values, aspirations, character, and personality (you and everything about you) are all elements of the same outside I detailed above.

In other words, when I, or anyone, remind you that the human experience evolves from the inside-out, I’m not saying that you are inside and everything else, and everyone else, is outside. I’m not saying that you and the world are separate. I’m not saying something along the lines of, “In a negative situation, you can be positive since you work from the inside-out.” Not at all.

Rather, I’m saying that you are part of the outside world of form that’s 100 percent created and projected from the inside (hence the term inside-out).

So, then, what exactly is the “inside” from which this outside world of form springs?

The answer, and please don’t get hung up by the word here, is God. It’s God (mind, soul, spirit, greater intelligence, higher power or purpose—pick your word) that determines your feeling state and the ensuing reality that you see. Again, you are outside. The kingdom of God rests inside. It’s God, not you, that determines your mood, outlook, and choices; your failures and successes; your ebbs and your flows. The not-so-good news described earlier is caused by the misunderstanding that the burden is on you, when the burden, the one who’s flying the plane, lies within you.

You are outside; God is inside. Now, hopefully, that’s all cleared up.

Garret

The Cause of Confusion

The other night, a usually composed but, at that moment, irate hockey coach called me at home. He claimed that he needed to get off his chest all the things about his team that where causing his head to spin. We’re talking about poor body language, trouble with punctuality, disrespect for his staff, low effort level, and dumb mistakes. On and on, he kept finding more and more problems with his players as his confusion got worse and worse.

I listened for about five minutes and then gently interrupted him, posing this basic question: “Coach, what’s the only thing that can cause the feeling of confusion within a human being?”

He shot back, “I don’t give a shit about feelings. These guys are really talented, but I’ll sit them all if they don’t get their act together.”

I suggested, “Why don’t we talk tomorrow.”

But then, fortunately, things began to shift. “Wait, G, sorry about that. Let me try to answer your question. Hmm, the only thing that can cause a feeling in me is . . . me. Am I on the right track?”

“Well, sort of, but not exactly. Consider it like this: Deep down, we all know that nothing or no one, including ourselves, can make us feel a certain way. However, it almost always looks like our feelings are either the result of the actions of others or our own actions and decisions. And this fundamental conflict between truth (we work from in to out) and illusion (we work from out to in) is enough to drive anyone mad.”

“So, my players aren’t the cause of my confusion, but it’s not my fault either?”

“Exactly, cool insight. Both you and your players are on the outside. And, again, feelings are an inside job. They’re simply spiritual energy that comes and goes.

“Wow. So confusion is a normal part of being human?”

“Amen. We’re born in peace. We look outside for the cause of this wonderful feeling—we find confusion. We feel confusion. We look outside for the cause of this wayward feeling—we find more confusion. We wake up to the truth that feelings come and go independent of what happens on the outside, or we turn back inside like you just did—and confusion disappears. And then the cycle, or the wonderful totality of the human experience, churns up all over again.”

“Glad we spoke, G. It’s cool to understand that my unpredictable feelings are actually normal and no one’s fault. Can’t wait to get to work with my team tomorrow!”

“Love it, coach. The understanding you just mentioned is the most important thing we can share with others. Point your players in that direction and let your season play out from there.”

“You got it. Call you after practice.”

“Talk then.”

One cause of confusion (misunderstanding). One cure (understanding). Always.

Thank you for reading,
Garret