Less Vandalism and Less Fighting in School by Dean Rees-Evans

An excerpt from the transcription “School – pressure of performance with peers, classroom and sports”

Dean Rees Evans smallAs to the positions that I held within schools – they were various. Most of the time I did substitute teaching. so I was in a group of schools across two counties, so I got called by an agency to go to this school or that school. Now the way you get invited back to a school is entirely dependent upon what the children feedback to the staff because they need to know that the children are safe with the teacher in the room. And I managed to do a lot of really good work and, let’s say, that went under the radar. A lot of the work I did was under the radar. But let me tell you, every single school always wanted me to go back. I never had a school say, “We don’t want you coming back here because of what you taught.” So they always knew that it wasn’t necessarily curricula but they knew that the children would be leaving the classroom inspired, and they knew that was a good thing for the school.

Now I’ll give you an example of one school where they contracted me to the work that I do. And this is how the interview went. It’s very simple. I got called up from a buddy that I knew from the gym who ran the behavior support unit and this is how it went. He rang me on Thursday and said, “Oh hi Dean. Can you come for an interview tomorrow at the school?”

And I said, “Sure, what’s the job?”

And he said, “Well, you’ll find out when you get here.”

I said, “Ok.”

So I got there, he was there and the head teacher was there and this is how the interview went:

“Hi, we have heard … we don’t know what it is you do, but we heard you’re good at it. Can you come and do it at our school?” (laughing)

That was the introduction. So what I did in that school was, they wanted me four days out of five and they wanted me to run what they called their senior team call-out which is basically going round the school, firefighting, basically dealing with all the difficult situations wherever they appeared in the school. So I would wonder the school with a headset on and they’d say, “Right, go to room 37.”

And one day I ran the behavior support unit while that guy did his head teacher training and it was a wonderful time and I got to know a lot of children. In fact I got to know all the children, I just couldn’t remember all their names. The effect that that had on the school ended up being lasting… and the only reason I know that is because I did actually return to the school at a later date and talked to staff.

But some of the most interesting feedback that I got from the school before leaving was things like this… the staff knew that something had happened – I did a bit of training with the staff too… this wasn’t the school I did a research project in, that was an earlier school… The staff knew that something different was happening and they were having children come to their classrooms that had previously been the most difficult pupils they had to deal with, always being sent out, always getting in trouble, never getting on with their work, completely having a turnaround. And they’d say to me, “I don’t know what you did with that student but keep doing it because they’re a completely different individual – they’re actually coming to class, they’re doing their work, they’re getting on, they’re friendly which is very unusual!” – things like that.

But some of the most interesting feedback I got was this – the ground staff, the people who see what’s happening to the infrastructure of the buildings, they said, “Dean, since you’ve been in this school, there is less vandalism, there is less litter, and there is definitely less fighting.” And that, I thought, was phenomenal.

So I’m not talking to the kids about fighting, I’m not talking to them about litter, I’m not talking to them about graffiti, but when children start feeling better about themselves as individuals their behavior just changes.

Because everyone in the universe, not just in the world, everyone in the universe knows the difference between right and wrong. You don’t have to teach that stuff. It’s natural to us. And the only reason we do the other stuff and get things wrong is because we’re not feeling good [1:05:00] about ourselves.

So yes, I got offered a lot of contracts and I didn’t take any of them because I loved the freedom of going from school to school to school meeting and getting to know lots and lots and lots of different children and staff and actually sharing this understanding in a broader way than I could if I just took a contract where I’d be pinned down to one job. So it is a difficult question and as I said at the start – the simple answer is, you’ve got to have somebody who can make things happen in a school somewhere near the top who hears something. That’s who you need to get the exposure to, because they’re the only people who can… you know, you get classroom teachers and you get them on board and they love what you do and they can see it makes a difference, if it’s not from the top down, someone near the top isn’t seeing it, isn’t listening, isn’t hearing, it’s very, very, very difficult to roll this out in a school. So we’ve got our work cut out – I know that.

 

Dean Rees-Evans

http://www.threeprinciplestraining.com

Landmark Sessions of the Three Principles School in 2014

Three Principles Class, November 2014

Three Principles Class, November 2014

November 2014 Class Photo

Just a note to say a special thank you to all of the wonderful people who attended the November, 2014, session of the Three Principles School here on Salt Spring Island, as well as those who came to the spring session. Both sessions for the 2014 year were landmark events in our shared efforts to keep the essence of Sydney Banks’ vision for the world alive and expanding.

When Mr. Banks experienced his powerful insight in 1973, he was gifted with a profound vision of the spiritual nature of life, and in turn, a completely new and foundational understanding of the human psychological experience. From that moment on, until his passing in 2009, he dedicated his life to relieving human suffering. He shared his knowledge freely with any and all who sought peace and understanding in their lives. He did so by speaking in a very direct, straightforward and simple manner about the precious Principles he had uncovered. He often said, “Don’t listen to my words, listen for a feeling,” then spoke “soul to soul” with people in a way that awakened their own wisdom. Thousands were impacted; changed forever by what they came to see within themselves. The nature and depth of the change in those who heard has sent powerful ripples of hope throughout a world in need.

The Three Principles School was founded, at Syd’s urging, to help share the essence or true nature of the Principles “as discovered and taught by Sydney Banks” in as direct and simple a manner as possible; with deep regard for the power of a beautiful feeling, and inherent respect for the spiritual fact that everyone already has the truth and wisdom they seek within them. In doing our best to honor those ideals, we have been given a beautiful gift in return. Those who have come have done so because they are continuing to live in a nicer and nicer feeling of life and want to deepen their understanding of the Principles and their own true nature. As such, people arrive, even at the “meet and greet” with the excitement of discovery, an openness to the unknown and a genuine desire to experience the feeling that is evoked when we look in that spiritual direction together. With this as a starting place, with this kind of openness and permission, you have made the school what it is. Thank you so, so much.

A key element of Syd’s vision was that the Principles he had uncovered were the missing link to a new understanding of the human psychological experience. He foresaw what we are witnessing today: the emergence of a new psychology, grounded in immutable Principles, thereby becoming a true science. At both 2014 sessions, we were privileged to have eminently qualified guest speakers from the fields of psychiatry and psychology; courageous pioneers in the development and application of this new science.

In June, Dr. George Pransky, a psychologist, and his wife Linda, a therapist, shared their own story of discovery and deep personal change after encountering Sydney Banks in the nineteen seventies. That change led them to a whole new understanding of how to help their clients find mental health and peace of mind and, in turn, how to guide other professionals to this new understanding, a mission they whole heartedly embrace to this day. Dr. Pransky went on to place Mr. Banks’ discoveries in the historical context of a complete paradigm shift for the field; one which elevated it from a vast collection of derivative theories, to a true, principle-based science poised to bring mental health to millions.

In November, Dr. Bill Pettit, a psychiatrist with a multitude of board certifications, and his wife, Dr. Linda Pettit, a distinguished therapist and teacher, shared many beautiful stories of the changes and powerful recoveries they’ve seen over and over again in their practices through the years. Once again these preeminent professionals traced the genesis of their understanding back to the personal experiences they had, as a result of listening to a simple working man share the Principles and understanding he had uncovered. Dr. Bill Pettit stated that he was so amazed in the early days by the profound changes he saw in clients, he began to see that there was “hope for a cure;” but now, after years of seeing such powerful results in his work and the work of countless others, he states without hesitation, “There is a cure.”

Portions of these landmark talks are available on this site for you to experience for yourself, with more to follow. Once again, a heartfelt thank you to Bill and Linda Pettit and George and Linda Pransky for their invaluable contributions to the Three Principles School, and for shining a light on Syd’s vision for the fields of psychiatry and psychology, and the power the Three Principles have to serve humanity.

In closing, a big thank-you to all of the volunteers who make the Three Principles School possible. The work leading up to the sessions, the staging of the event itself, the filming and editing; everything is done with so much love and dedication. It’s hard to imagine a better, more committed team. Thank You!

The post Landmark Sessions of the Three Principles School in 2014 appeared first on Three Principles Foundation.

About deep listening

OanaMy son Vlad is six and a half. He enjoys playing outside with the kids. There are about five kids near the block, besides him, who are playing outside every afternoon after school. Kids are usually supervised by their parents. I leave Vlad by himself because I think he is old enough to get some confidence in his own strength and to start looking after himself.

One day I hear the kids outside playing and tell Vlad “Hey sweetie, kids are outside, do you wish to go and play with them?” The usual reaction would be him running at the window, looking and then rushing to put clothes on (without even asking for help as when we go to some less desired places) and living in a hurry with a lot of enthusiasm.

What answer do I get now? “I don’t wish to go outside, mom!”

You can imagine my surprise. I ask why, hardly listening to him, and he tells me “Kids won’t play with me.” Not listening careful enough I just answered something like “How did you get this idea? I’m sure they will play with you.” And ended the topic, Vlad went to play on the Ipad and I continued what I was doing without giving it a second thought.

The next day the same, he doesn’t want to go outside. Babysitter tells me the same. After a few weeks of ignoring the issue, one day, when I’m coming back from work he is with the nanny outside. Children were playing like 50 meters away and he was playing in our little front yard with the cats.  I want to go in and ask him if he stays outside. He says again no. I ask him why and he tells me angry “I told you before, kids won’t play with me!” I am on the edge of getting angry and shouting at him that that’s just stupid, when I get another thought: “I might try to figure all out, what is going on with him.” So I’m asking: “Do you want me to go to Maia and ask if she will play with you?” And he says “Yes!” So living my judgment’s behind, regarding how can I go as an adult to ask a kid if she’s playing with mine, I’m going to Maia and ask. “Hi Maia! Vlad tells me that you are not playing with him, is that right? She answers “I do, I will, ask Danut.” So I’m thinking something is fishy here… and I ask Danut: “Danut, will you play with Vlad?” and he says yes but Maia should tell you…good. So I am turning again my attention to Maia and ask her, “Did something happened, Maia?” and she starts shyly to tell a story about Vlad punching Danut younger brother…”But he didn’t want to, It was an accident!” and she also tells me “Go ask his father! „Good, I’m telling to myself, it seems I’m getting to an end. Asking the dad it turns out he told Vlad in an angry voice: “If you can’t play nicely with the kids, don’t show up here anymore!” My first thought when I heard that was “How can he talk like that with children? And then he explains me some more “I didn’t hit him or anything…”  I could kill him for that!” I didn’t’ acted on it though… I nicely asked him that if he has some problems with Vlad in the future to approach me.

I’m calling Vlad and he comes shyly. I’m telling him that nobody is angry at him, he is allowed to play with the kids and all that in front of the dad which approves. So my little beloved boy immediately goes to them and start engaging in their games.

I was so sad that Vlad had to go through all this without my support and that I was blind and deaf enough for a few weeks to see and hear what was going on. I wonder how painful it was for him all that time to see the children playing outside and thinking that he is not welcomed or accepted. I went to him, apologized for not seeing it sooner and asked him to tell me if any adult approaches him in the future on any topic. I explained him that I give him the freedom to be by himself outside but this comes with the risk of me not being there to support him if needed. I asked him again to tell me what is going on so I can do that, stand by him and be there for him. “Kids should deal with kids and adults with adults!”…”Yes, when some adult talks to me I will come and tell you or Geta or Corina, whoever is with me!”…

 

Oana Vaideanu

http://www.oanavaideanu.com/en