The Potential for a New Sandwich – Mette Louise Holland

Change is always possible when we see a little more! 

Let's pretend you came to me as a client (I'm a psychologist) and said: ”I'm really tired of my 
negative and worried thinking!”. Then I would tell you how thought creates feeling and would 
additionally point you towards your inner health which will think positive for you as soon as you 
see that you never have to take your negative thinking seriously.

You would listen, and maybe even feel a little hopeful. And then (maybe, let's just pretend) you 
would think of the serious problems that made you seek out a psychologist and how much these 
negative thoughts and emotions have impacted your life in a negative way up untill now. And 
you'ld say: ”it just seems so hard not to worry. I have always worried!”
What you do in that moment is you innocently mistake worried thinking to have some independent 
reality of it's own. 

The ”proof” - what makes it obvious to you – is  
1) since you have experienced the same thing (negative thinking) many times you think this is ”how things are”. Like, ”this is how I am/this is what people are like – people worry - see, I worry all the 
time – case proven”! 
And 2) Because you feel it. Feelings are convincing. They make it invisible to us where the feeling 
comes from – it's easy to think I'm feeling reality instead of my thinking.
Well, fortunately we don't have to believe everything we're thinking, so here's another way of 
seeing this ”obvious reality”: 
To 2): yes you feel it, but that's ONLY because you think it! Not because of some truth from the 
outside world. 
To 1): just because you have created the same experience for yourself (unawaringly) a lot of times 
before, does not mean it's hard not to – as soon as you're aware of the basic mechanisms behind 
your experience.

Now, let's for a moment play with it and swap worried thinking with a sandwich (which is by the 
way a nice swap ;-) ):

Let's imagine you have made yourself a cheese sandwich every day for lunch for the last twenty 

years. And then one day a friend of yours drops by at lunch time. You tell him: ”I'm really tired 
of cheese sandwiches!” And he would point to your shelf saying: ”well, there's a can of tuna up 
there”. Would you think that now when you are aware that you have a can of tuna, it would be 
hard to make a tuna sandwich for lunch today? I wouldn't. I would just go ahead and make it. And 
I probably wouldn't fill my head with strange thinking like: yesterday I didn't know I had a can of 
tuna, so at that time it would have felt really hard – impossible – if someone had asked me to make 
a tuna sandwich... 

That's what we sometimes do when the subject is our own thinking – we try to make sense to our 
experience by comparing it with the experiences we have had earlier. And yes, yesterday it would 
seem hard, even impossible, to let go of my old, negative thinking, if I hadn't been pointed towards 
what thinking is – that it's not telling me about ”facts” in the world outside me, but that it's only the 
moulding clay I use to build my own experience. Since I'm always creating my own experience in 
the presence, every moment is a new chance for a new experience, just like every new sandwich 
means a new posibility for new fillings. It seems obvious when it comes to sandwiches, but 
regarding to thinking I have to see it for myself to know to believe it.

Countless are the times clients have said: ”It's hard not to worry, I've always worried!” And 

then next time we meet, they say: ”I really haven't worried much since last week”. You believe 
something until you stop and see something new.

Every moment you've got a new chance for making a new sandwich. Your choice of fillings has 

endless potential. The same goes for your thinking. Bon appetit.

Katja’s Story – by Katja Symons

KatjaSince I came across the three principles I went through many amazing transformations, some spectacular and sudden, some more subtle, just showing in a change of behavior that could be recognised by myself and/or others. With every new realisation I began to feel increasingly better, emotionally and mentally, and eventually became balanced on a much higher level of wellbeing than I was used to. The biggest transformation though manifested itself in the improvements to my physical health.

Prior to coming to this understanding I was chronically ill. Just a few years back I felt an absolute wreck. I was totally sick, not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. It had all started 11 years ago with an autoimmune disease of the Thyroid called Morbus Basedow and after battling through that, I had eventually been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome & Chronic Fatigue. With the help of alternative medicine I kept it more or less under control, putting up with the restrictions and struggle, not knowing there was the possibility to recover fully.

It’s surely no fun to be feeling chronically ill, to worry about a diagnosed health condition, to feel threatened by all sorts of physical symptoms on a daily basis or to be living with various aches and pains for a long time… At the age of 37 I thought my life was over. I had suicidal thoughts and felt it’s not worth living like this.* I was in constant pain, some days more, some days less, at one point every single step I took was torture. My husband had to walk the dogs, as I often didn’t even make it to the park across the road. He earned the living as I was too weak and feeling too anxious to be able to work. Somebody else had to clean my home while I spent most of my time in bed. I was depressed and deeply troubled. At times even just the slightest touch of my skin caused me severe pain. My arms and hands were so sore, I often wasn’t even able to peel potatoes without being in agony.

To sum it all up, for many years every single thing in my life was just a struggle. Looking back now I have no idea how I managed to survive this. But I surely did… and even better than that.

My circumstances culminated in the break up of my marriage forcing me to take stock of life, these days (odd as it sounds) I’m glad it did. It gave me the opportunity to wake up to the true nature and source of my illness through coming across an understanding I probably would have not heard of otherwise, enabling me to get back to the balanced level of health and wellbeing I enjoy today. I couldn’t be more grateful for understanding that my experience has got nothing to do with my circumstances or indeed the people or situations I used to blame. Suddenly I was no longer a victim of ‘feeling sick’ either.

It enabled me to see through all sorts of habits of analysing, and observing my health issues, which kept them in place because I was unwittingly ‘feeding them’ with attention. I took all that was going on within my body very serious, it was as if I felt I had to be in control of it, not knowing that there is a greater power which has all the capacity to heal and bring back balance naturally in a perfect way.

My very busy mind calmed right down when I realised the futility of having to understand my health issues. As a Holistic Health Practitioner I was used to making sure I understood what my body was trying to tell me, then I realised that all symptoms within my body were simply compounded by my own thinking. There was no need to understand more than that and therefore lots of stress and tension dissipated.

As a result of that, I took whatever I was diagnosed with less and less seriously, and stopped believing what I was told (for example that such a chronic condition ‘could never be cured’). I started questioning the way we identify or label occurrences in our bodies (what does that mean, ‘chronic’?), guess what happened?

On more and more occasions I experienced how physical symptoms simply fell away, in the exact same instant I had a realisation about certain historical beliefs that had manifested in the body. The more that happened, the more I kept looking in that direction and at some point I was able to maintain my better state of health without having to continue the treatments I was having along the way. It was never my intention, it just happened that my physical health improved naturally.

These days I’m just a ‘normal’ healthy human being. If I do run into health issues, I handle them totally differently than before. I ask myself how symptoms which show up in my body serve me, not in an analysing way, but listening to common sense. I for example allow myself to rest when I’m tired. The body tells us exactly what is required, we just need to stop fighting against it and listen.

I was doubled up in pain just a few weeks ago when my back muscles suddenly went into spasm, before, this situation would have frightened me and sent me into panic. I couldn’t even move a little finger without being in agony. As the pain took a grip of me I gave into it, rather than resisting it. “How the hell does this serve me?” popped into my mind and I became totally still. In the state of calmness I was fascinated by what was going on and instinctively knew what I had to do: relax.

As a result I had a huge revelation. I learned to see the pain for what it was. The spasm had woken me up to question the tension I experienced, and when I was willing to look at where the experience really came from, I realised that the tension was simply created by the power of thought. I felt a huge amount of relief. There was no need to know what exactly I was thinking, just seeing it for what it was, was enough for it to change.

With the help of some tissue salts I was moving around again just a few hours later (normally, with a spasm like this, one would end up in hospital). Afterwards, the odd twinge or pain in my back would remind me to let go of that tension again, and it still serves me now, as a barometer of where my thinking is at when tension tries to sneak in.

To me, any form of dis-ease or pain looks more and more like a low state of mind only, not a physical reality I need to do something with. It’s mostly unconscious and totally innocent, but the good news for me, is, that whatever we experience, not only mentally and emotionally but also on the physical level, can change in any moment with one fresh thought. So what is there to worry about? I learned that when we just allow it to happen, the infinite energy behind life will always guide us back to a healthy balance. Healing starts the moment we give ourselves to it, knowing that health, ultimately, will always be the natural state we default back to when our mind quietens.

The most powerful remedy for me these days, is, not to focus on the issue, but to look in the other direction, to the true source of our experience, and to realise how healing naturally works within us already as a part of who we really are. Really listening to that inner health within us, with nothing on our minds, is where true healing lies, even if it first sends us to see the doctor.

Katja Symons
www.katjasymons.com and
“Insight to Healing” with Mick Tomlinson: www.itsallhealing.com

November Class Update

threePSchoolNov2014

Thanks to everyone who attended this last session of the Three Principles School. Your participation and support are what make the school so powerful and meaningful, keeping Syd’s vision for it alive and well.

It is wonderful to have people coming here to Salt Spring from all over the world, finding together a fresh and deeper understanding of the Principles.

 Special thanks to our guest speakers, Dr. Bill Pettit and Dr. Linda Pettit, who shared their incredible experiences and stories. Their courage and dedication to the Principles are providing the fields of psychiatry and psychology with a new, clear path to uncovering mental health in patients.

It was a historic event, and we will be sharing excerpts from their talks, as well as other clips from the school, very soon.

The post November Class Update appeared first on Three Principles Foundation.

Self-help?

Self-help. A term completely misunderstood. How can entire industry call itself one thing and deliver the exact opposite? Have you ever read a self-help book in which the author didn’t offer his or her ideas, strategies, or techniques for feeling or performing better? Me neither. And there you have it: Someone else’s ideas, strategies, or techniques might be interesting, even logical, but they come from the outside—they’re not self-help. That can only come from the inside.

Now, if you’re wondering if I’m overthinking it or you feel that my perspective is based on a mere technicality, consider this: What self-help truly is has become obscured by misinterpretation. In other words, self-help—or the innate ability for human beings to self-correct when troubled—is an unknown principle to the vast majority of people. So, regrettably, we apply the “external-help” methods of others. This requires thought, which clutters our minds and makes us feel worse.

So what about my work, or the work of my colleagues and a handful of others? What’s different about that? I’ll speak for myself. I devote my professional life to pointing people away from today’s surplus of external coping strategies and toward the power of their own psychological immune (self-help) systems. In fact, to me, it’s a coincidence when someone employs an external-help strategy and then feels better (that’s why it doesn’t happen every time). But when someone gets on with life and then self-corrects—now that’s truth.

Sure, I know that self-help is just a word used to describe a certain group of experts or a section in the bookstore. The connotation of the word, however, needs a major adjustment. Look inside for answers, people; self-help can only start there.

Gratitude: a route to inner peace

Without any plan to do this, I have slipped into the habit, as I lay down to sleep, of thinking of something or someone from the past day for which I am grateful. And then, when I awaken, thinking of something I am grateful to look Into the lightforward to in the new day. Often, I am surprised by what comes to mind. Almost always, they are small things, or momentary unexpected encounters with people, that elicit a smile and a peaceful feeling. Sometimes, they are big things — pivotal moments in my life or opportunities that changed things for me completely. The effect is the same. Finding gratitude brings with it peace.

It occurred to me to share this experience with a client I saw recently who complained that she had trouble sleeping because as soon as she went to bed, her head filled with all the negative, unpleasant events of the past day, and she always awakened dreading what might happen today. As she talked, I remembered years of my life when I did that, too. Without any understanding of what I was doing, I would catalogue the negative events and the mistakes I had made as I went to bed, I would sleep fitfully, and I would wake up with my schedule and all its demands on my mind. I was always tired and out of sorts. I thought it was because my life was a pressure-cooker of demands and disappointments. Now I know it was because I had no idea what I was doing to myself with my own power to think.

My heart went out to my client because she really was exhausted and overwhelmed. She was jittery and on the verge of tears, and she confessed that she spent most of her days that way, drinking copious amounts of coffee to keep going and fighting off depression as she tried to get her job done and take care of her family. She said she always had a “looming sense of disaster.”

She was taken aback when I asked her if she had anything in her life for which to be thankful. “I’m sure I must,” she said, “I just never think about that.” I suggested we take a little time to think about that now.

It took her a few minutes to redirect her thinking, but then she started listing things. Her two children were healthy and happy in school. She had a secure job that paid well enough for her to get by as a single Mom without too much worry. She liked her landlord and she lived in a safe place that was well taken care of. Her parents lived nearby and enjoyed babysitting so she could get out sometimes. She liked the Church she attends and had good friends there. Her ex-husband paid child support regularly and, although he lives far away and never sees them, he does remember the children’s birthdays and holidays. She has a good friend who invites her and her children to a cabin in the NC mountains in the summer so they get to take an inexpensive vacation that the whole family enjoys.

As she slowly worked through this list, she relaxed, and her whole demeanor brightened. “I guess I really have a lot going for me,” she said sheepishly. “So why am I always so down on my life?”

She had opened the door to seeing something completely new to her:  What we call “life” is actually our moment-to-moment experience of the thinking we are bringing to mind about life. I explained to her that the little exercise we had just completed could be mistaken for “positive thinking” — but that the power behind it is NOT the power to fix or change the content of our thoughts. It’s realizing how easily each one of us can let some thoughts pass and entertain others, and knowing that the true power behind our perceptions is that we are making everything up — good and bad. That is the gift of the spiritual nature of life, the gift TO think. When we don’t know that we are the thinkers, it appears to us that we have no choice; when negative thinking floods our minds, or when we get in the habit of taking everything negative that comes to mind more seriously than other things, we spiral into misery and it starts looking like there’s no way out.

I asked, “Do you think you could have refused when I asked you to think of things for which you could be thankful?”

“Of course,” she said.  “I almost did. I wondered why you would want to waste my time not talking about my problems.”

“Then why did you decide to go along with it?”

“I don’t know. You seem like a nice person who wants to help me. It was kind of a refreshing request. So many people I have gone to for help have taken me deeper into all the bad stuff and I end up feeling worse. The idea of stepping away from it appealed to me. And then, once I started, I was surprised by how easy it was to keep coming up with more things.”

“So you were actually directing your own thoughts the whole time? You could have chosen to think anything, but you liked the idea of bringing different kinds of thoughts to mind.”

“Yes, I guess so. But what does that mean?”

“It means,” I said, “you are free. You do not have to live as the victim of your own most distressing thinking. You can think anything, and you can take whatever you think more or less seriously. It means your power to think your way through life is the key to the quality of your experience.”

“Wow,” she said. And she asked me to explain more about that. She began to look inside, at the power described by the Principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought. I saw her twice more, and then she thanked me and said that she was fine. She would call me if she needed any more help, but she really felt confident that she was realizing her own strength and everything was changing for the better.

That night, she came to mind as I lay down to sleep. I am deeply grateful for the work I get to do as a Mental Health Educator.

I leave you with this from Sydney Banks:

Gratitude and satisfaction have wonderful effects on our souls. They open our minds, clearing the way for wisdom and contentment to enter. Once you become grateful, the prison bars of your mind will fall away. Peace of mind and contentment will be yours.”              The Missing Link p. 131.

 

The post Gratitude: a route to inner peace appeared first on Three Principles Living.

Listening to Our Children

Our children are speaking to us, on a societal level, in more ways than one. They may be trying to express themselves in their words, or in their moods and silences–but when that has failed, we are now hearing from them through their suicides, in increasing acts of violence in[…]

A Paradigm Shift For Mental Health – Lori Carpenos

I feel so fortunate to have run across people who were teaching the Principles, way back in 1985 and to have met Sydney Banks while he was still alive. There is no question that Mr. Banks uncovered what would become a paradigm shift in the fields of psychology and psychiatry.

 “Someday someone will find principles for psychology and when they do, it will change the field to a philosophy and a science and in turn it will help millions of people.”

William James (sometimes called the father of psychology)

To think that we’re at the forefront of an amazing realization for humanity; to witness history in the making is incredible. One day it will be common knowledge and people will quite naturally live life from their spiritual essence as opposed to their personal ego; we’ll surely have a different world then.

Can you imagine the vast majority of humanity living from an understanding of their spiritual heritage, looking out at the world from deep within, from their true nature? If more people knew they were experiencing their own thinking, their own creation – they would know which thoughts and experiences to take seriously and which to just let  pass along on their way.

Of the three Principles, Thought is the creative Principle — it’s the principle that creates anything and everything. Consciousness is the principle that recognizes the creation and brings it to our awareness, and Mind is the power behind the whole show.

The Principles offer a deep, comprehensive understanding about how we operate. We can understand and explain the role of thought in moods, emotions and insecurity; what underlies differences between people, and why everyone thinks their perspective is the right one — to name but a few things an understanding of the Principles brings us.

Sharing the Principles with people is like giving them a baseline to understand how they experience life. When people have a baseline understanding of how they and their partner operate — it shifts everything. It shifts a person’s relationship to situations and circumstances to one of empowerment rather than victimization. To be able to look within and contemplate how we function as humans and to have even a rudimentary understanding of the Principles — helps people.

It’s a great privilege to witness an individual come up against their typical thinking and then come to the realization that a thought is not a fact; that thinking doesn’t make it so. As a therapist, I get to witness people transform their lives and their relationships just by understanding this one fact of life.

Recently, a young man came to my office for his second appointment, looking very dejected. He said, “My wife asked me for a divorce.” He came to the next session with his wife. She said, “I never said I wanted a divorce. I said, If I’m not giving you what you want, then maybe you should find someone who can.”She went on to say, “I really love this man; I want him to be happy and to have what he wants.”

People often “hear” through their personal thinking, which filters out what is actually being said . What is heard is not always what the speaker meant. The Principles show us the value of listening more deeply and beyond the mere words; to listen for the speaker’s meaning and the feeling that is being expressed. Generally, we are not taught to do that. As we grow up we learn to listen only to the words and then analyze what is being said according to our personal perspective. Children are actually more adept at hearing the true emotions behind the words, because the words have less meaning to them.

I could hear the wife’s frustration; thinking that she was incapable of satisfying him in the way he wanted her to and that just being herself was not enough for him. Listen beyond a person’s words, to what is really being felt emotionally. The Principles explain how personal thinking delivers separate realities; thus, it is important to ask questions rather than assume you know. The Principles explain what misunderstandings really are and why they happen.

  1. The three Principles provide a paradigm shift from trying to change what’s “wrong” with a person to realizing the wisdom and health within everyone.
  2. Seeing the inside-out nature of the Principles points both the client and the clinician to their spiritual nature where insights take place naturally.
  3. Positive change occurs spontaneously as a natural outcome of understanding how thought creates our moment-to-moment reality.
  4. Pointing in the direction of the inside-out nature of life offers hope to everyone, regardless of their situation and alleviates clinician burnout.
  5. The over-arching effect is a recognition of our spiritual nature as home base and that we have a built in guidance system — our feelings.
  6. All this from three simple Principles which truly are the basis of everything we encounter in life.

When people first hear about the Principles they often ask, “What do the three Principles have to do with well-being?” My answer is, “Everything!”

Since Mind, Thought and Consciousness work together to create our experience, when we experience well-being, it’s coming from the Principles in action, and when we experience difficulty, that’s coming from the Principles in action within us, as well — it’s so simple.

People in the general public who either haven’t heard of the Principles, or haven’t seen them deeply enough,  do not know that they have access to well-being, thinking it’s a fluke, that it is only felt when something good happens to them, which places them at the mercy of whatever happens in life that is out of their control.

While writing this blog, it occurred to me how interesting it is that people know what the word well-being means — which tells me that a person would have had to experience it to know that! Therefore, that makes it possible. Even if someone thinks they hadn’t experienced it in fifty years, they’d know what you were talking about. Everyone has moments of well-being even if just fleeting moments…the feeling of well-being comes through in the spaces between unsettling thoughts. It comes through even when difficult circumstances prevail, because there are always calm moments between thinking about the difficulty.

Well-being is a feeling to which we all can relate — when we use that word people agree that it is a feeling and know when they are in a state of well-being or panic or concern or worry — everyone has the capacity to differentiate — what allows people to do that?

The Principles allow people to know. Consciousness informs us of what we think, in combination they give us an experience we remember, via the Principles, and thus the experience is not only recognizable, but can be replicated, as well.

Our true, spiritual nature exists before thought. We come into the world with no thought until we’re spanked to get oxygen to flow through our lungs, then we cry and then we rest peacefully; we’re all born with resiliency. That is how everyone enters the world of form from formless energy.

The prevalent thinking in the world right now however, is that one must find the thing or the person that will provide well-being, when in fact it is already a part of us and we are the ones who allow ourselves to have it or not — it’s always there for the taking. Isn’t that incredible? It’s always with us, but we just cover it up with our thinking. Well-being is our neutral but we’ll slam ourselves into reverse, into second, and third gears, without a care about what we’re doing to our internal mechanism. This may sound like a whacky metaphor, but really it’s a good description of how it feels to me when I’m not aware of the fact that my thinking is off on a tangent. Well-being is our birthright — regardless of what we can’t control — regardless of circumstances and situations.

Here is an example of what I mean: I’m enjoying myself, writing this blog and without realizing it at first, I start to scrunch up my bare toes. It feels strange to me, and then I recall that I broke a toe while playing ball barefoot on the lawn with my nieces. From there I begin to slip into memories of my broken wrist a few years ago and a thumb accident on a bike ride. Then slipping further down, I start to think about how I’m getting older — but at that moment I realize — oh my, I don’t have to go there! I don’t want to do that to myself — why beat myself up? Then boing – I’m back to a feeling of well-being again. We can wake up and become aware even in the middle of such a slippery slope.

We have a built in guidance system — our feelings, and all we need do is understand how that works. Our feelings (thoughts) let us know when we’re off course and about to slam into some thought rocks.

I am so very grateful to be involved with a spiritual understanding (Innate Health and the three Principles) that helps me, personally and professionally, in ways I could never have known. 

 

A Paradigm Shift For Mental Health – Lori Carpenos

I feel so fortunate to have run across people who were teaching the Principles, way back in 1985 and to have met Sydney Banks while he was still alive. There is no question that Mr. Banks uncovered what would become a paradigm shift in the fields of psychology and psychiatry.

 “Someday someone will find principles for psychology and when they do, it will change the field to a philosophy and a science and in turn it will help millions of people.”

William James (sometimes called the father of psychology)

To think that we’re at the forefront of an amazing realization for humanity; to witness history in the making is incredible. One day it will be common knowledge and people will quite naturally live life from their spiritual essence as opposed to their personal ego; we’ll surely have a different world then.

Can you imagine the vast majority of humanity living from an understanding of their spiritual heritage, looking out at the world from deep within, from their true nature? If more people knew they were experiencing their own thinking, their own creation – they would know which thoughts and experiences to take seriously and which to just let  pass along on their way.

Of the three Principles, Thought is the creative Principle — it’s the principle that creates anything and everything. Consciousness is the principle that recognizes the creation and brings it to our awareness, and Mind is the power behind the whole show.

The Principles offer a deep, comprehensive understanding about how we operate. We can understand and explain the role of thought in moods, emotions and insecurity; what underlies differences between people, and why everyone thinks their perspective is the right one — to name but a few things an understanding of the Principles brings us.

Sharing the Principles with people is like giving them a baseline to understand how they experience life. When people have a baseline understanding of how they and their partner operate — it shifts everything. It shifts a person’s relationship to situations and circumstances to one of empowerment rather than victimization. To be able to look within and contemplate how we function as humans and to have even a rudimentary understanding of the Principles — helps people.

It’s a great privilege to witness an individual come up against their typical thinking and then come to the realization that a thought is not a fact; that thinking doesn’t make it so. As a therapist, I get to witness people transform their lives and their relationships just by understanding this one fact of life.

Recently, a young man came to my office for his second appointment, looking very dejected. He said, “My wife asked me for a divorce.” He came to the next session with his wife. She said, “I never said I wanted a divorce. I said, If I’m not giving you what you want, then maybe you should find someone who can.”She went on to say, “I really love this man; I want him to be happy and to have what he wants.”

People often “hear” through their personal thinking, which filters out what is actually being said . What is heard is not always what the speaker meant. The Principles show us the value of listening more deeply and beyond the mere words; to listen for the speaker’s meaning and the feeling that is being expressed. Generally, we are not taught to do that. As we grow up we learn to listen only to the words and then analyze what is being said according to our personal perspective. Children are actually more adept at hearing the true emotions behind the words, because the words have less meaning to them.

I could hear the wife’s frustration; thinking that she was incapable of satisfying him in the way he wanted her to and that just being herself was not enough for him. Listen beyond a person’s words, to what is really being felt emotionally. The Principles explain how personal thinking delivers separate realities; thus, it is important to ask questions rather than assume you know. The Principles explain what misunderstandings really are and why they happen.

  1. The three Principles provide a paradigm shift from trying to change what’s “wrong” with a person to realizing the wisdom and health within everyone.
  2. Seeing the inside-out nature of the Principles points both the client and the clinician to their spiritual nature where insights take place naturally.
  3. Positive change occurs spontaneously as a natural outcome of understanding how thought creates our moment-to-moment reality.
  4. Pointing in the direction of the inside-out nature of life offers hope to everyone, regardless of their situation and alleviates clinician burnout.
  5. The over-arching effect is a recognition of our spiritual nature as home base and that we have a built in guidance system — our feelings.
  6. All this from three simple Principles which truly are the basis of everything we encounter in life.

When people first hear about the Principles they often ask, “What do the three Principles have to do with well-being?” My answer is, “Everything!”

Since Mind, Thought and Consciousness work together to create our experience, when we experience well-being, it’s coming from the Principles in action, and when we experience difficulty, that’s coming from the Principles in action within us, as well — it’s so simple.

People in the general public who either haven’t heard of the Principles, or haven’t seen them deeply enough,  do not know that they have access to well-being, thinking it’s a fluke, that it is only felt when something good happens to them, which places them at the mercy of whatever happens in life that is out of their control.

While writing this blog, it occurred to me how interesting it is that people know what the word well-being means — which tells me that a person would have had to experience it to know that! Therefore, that makes it possible. Even if someone thinks they hadn’t experienced it in fifty years, they’d know what you were talking about. Everyone has moments of well-being even if just fleeting moments…the feeling of well-being comes through in the spaces between unsettling thoughts. It comes through even when difficult circumstances prevail, because there are always calm moments between thinking about the difficulty.

Well-being is a feeling to which we all can relate — when we use that word people agree that it is a feeling and know when they are in a state of well-being or panic or concern or worry — everyone has the capacity to differentiate — what allows people to do that?

The Principles allow people to know. Consciousness informs us of what we think, in combination they give us an experience we remember, via the Principles, and thus the experience is not only recognizable, but can be replicated, as well.

Our true, spiritual nature exists before thought. We come into the world with no thought until we’re spanked to get oxygen to flow through our lungs, then we cry and then we rest peacefully; we’re all born with resiliency. That is how everyone enters the world of form from formless energy.

The prevalent thinking in the world right now however, is that one must find the thing or the person that will provide well-being, when in fact it is already a part of us and we are the ones who allow ourselves to have it or not — it’s always there for the taking. Isn’t that incredible? It’s always with us, but we just cover it up with our thinking. Well-being is our neutral but we’ll slam ourselves into reverse, into second, and third gears, without a care about what we’re doing to our internal mechanism. This may sound like a whacky metaphor, but really it’s a good description of how it feels to me when I’m not aware of the fact that my thinking is off on a tangent. Well-being is our birthright — regardless of what we can’t control — regardless of circumstances and situations.

Here is an example of what I mean: I’m enjoying myself, writing this blog and without realizing it at first, I start to scrunch up my bare toes. It feels strange to me, and then I recall that I broke a toe while playing ball barefoot on the lawn with my nieces. From there I begin to slip into memories of my broken wrist a few years ago and a thumb accident on a bike ride. Then slipping further down, I start to think about how I’m getting older — but at that moment I realize — oh my, I don’t have to go there! I don’t want to do that to myself — why beat myself up? Then boing – I’m back to a feeling of well-being again. We can wake up and become aware even in the middle of such a slippery slope.

We have a built in guidance system — our feelings, and all we need do is understand how that works. Our feelings (thoughts) let us know when we’re off course and about to slam into some thought rocks.

I am so very grateful to be involved with a spiritual understanding (Innate Health and the three Principles) that helps me, personally and professionally, in ways I could never have known. 

 

Coaching Paradigms: Inside-Out versus Outside-In

I’ve received many questions about last week’s coaching article. The most frequent revolved around what an inside-out coaching (mentoring or counseling) paradigm looks like compared to an outside-in one. This week, I’ve done my best to succinctly clear that up. So here goes:

Outside-in coaches:

  1. Offer techniques, tools, strategies, prescriptions, or fix-it methods.
  2. Link a person’s feelings and mood to his or her circumstances.
  3. Judge, analyze, and try to modify one’s feelings and/or behavior.
  4. Believe that human beings can control, exchange, or guide their thinking.
  5. Delve into a person’s past for answers.
  6. Put faith in rituals, routines, or doing the “right” thing.
  7. Focus on the personal (one’s biology, intellect, history).
  8. Emphasize goal setting; to them, narrowing in on goals is paramount to success.
  9. Have stringent and often lengthy codes of conduct.

Inside-out coaches:

  1. Teach how the mind and psychological immune system work.
  2. Link a person’s feelings and mood to his or her thinking.
  3. Avoid judgment.
  4. Know that trying to control thought leads to more thought and confusion.
  5. Recognize that a person’s perception of the past is not true.
  6. Put faith in a deep understanding of #1 on this list.
  7. Foster the innate principles common to all human beings—the universal.
  8. Prefer a wide perceptual field; to them, consciousness leads to excellence.
  9. Allow instincts, free will, and love to prosper.

Two final things: First, if you prefer the second list (like me), don’t forget that I’m talking about a direction. The precise behavior that springs from an inside-out path will be a different for each of us. Second, if before you read this entire article, you were wondering if you can productively combine elements of both paradigms, I hope you’re no longer wondering.

More questions? Reach out anytime.

Garret

A Paradigm Shift for Mental Health

I feel so fortunate to have run across people who were teaching the Principles, way back in 1985 and to have met Sydney Banks while he was still alive. There is no question that Mr. Banks uncovered what would become a paradigm shift in the fields of psychology and psychiatry.

 “Someday someone will find principles for psychology and when they do, it will change the field to a philosophy and a science and in turn it will help millions of people.”

William James (sometimes called the father of psychology)

To think that we’re at the forefront of an amazing realization for humanity; to witness history in the making is incredible. One day it will be common knowledge and people will quite naturally live life from their spiritual essence as opposed to their personal ego; we’ll surely have a different world then.

Can you imagine the vast majority of humanity living from an understanding of their spiritual heritage, looking out at the world from deep within, from their true nature? If more people knew they were experiencing their own thinking, their own creation – they would know which thoughts and experiences to take seriously and which to just let  pass along on their way.

That is true mental health.


Of the three Principles, Thought is the creative Principle — it’s the principle that creates anything and everything. Consciousness is the principle that recognizes the creation and brings it to our awareness, and Mind is the power behind the whole show.

The Principles offer a deep, comprehensive understanding about how we operate. We can understand and explain the role of thought in moods, emotions and insecurity; what underlies differences between people, and why everyone thinks their perspective is the right one — to name but a few things an understanding of the Principles brings us.

Sharing the Principles with people is like giving them a baseline to understand how they experience life. When people have a baseline understanding of how they and their partner operate — it shifts everything. It shifts a person’s relationship to situations and circumstances to one of empowerment rather than victimization. To be able to look within and contemplate how we function as humans and to have even a rudimentary understanding of the Principles — helps people.

It’s a great privilege to witness an individual come up against their typical thinking and then come to the realization that a thought is not a fact; that thinking doesn’t make it so. As a therapist, I get to witness people transform their lives and their relationships just by understanding this one fact of life.

Recently, a young man came to my office for his second appointment, looking very dejected. He said, “My wife asked me for a divorce.” He came to the next session with his wife. She said,“I never said I wanted a divorce. I said, If I’m not giving you what you want, then maybe you should find someone who can.” She went on to say, “I really love this man; I want him to be happy and to have what he wants.”

People often “hear” through their personal thinking, which filters out what is actually being said . What is heard is not always what the speaker meant. The Principles show us the value of listening more deeply and beyond the mere words; to listen for the speaker’s meaning and the feeling that is being expressed. Generally, we are not taught to do that. As we grow up we learn to listen only to the words and then analyze what is being said according to our personal perspective. Children are actually more adept at hearing the true emotions behind the words, because the words have less meaning to them.

I could hear the wife’s frustration; thinking that she was incapable of satisfying him in the way he wanted her to and that just being herself was not enough for him. Listen beyond a person’s words, to what is really being felt emotionally. The Principles explain how personal thinking delivers separate realities; thus, it is important to ask questions rather than assume you know. The Principles explain what misunderstandings really are and why they happen.
  1. The three Principles provide a paradigm shift from trying to change what’s “wrong” with a person to realizing the wisdom and health within everyone.
  2. Seeing the inside-out nature of the Principles points both the client and the clinician to their spiritual nature where insights take place naturally.
  3. Positive change occurs spontaneously as a natural outcome of understanding how thought creates our moment-to-moment reality.
  4. Pointing in the direction of the inside-out nature of life offers hope to everyone, regardless of their situation and alleviates clinician burnout.
  5. The over-arching effect is a recognition of our spiritual nature as home base and that we have a built in guidance system — our feelings.
  6. All this from three simple Principles which truly are the basis of everything we encounter in life.

When people first hear about the Principles they often ask, “What do the three Principles have to do with well-being?” My answer is, “Everything!”

Since Mind, Thought and Consciousness work together to create our experience, when we experience well-being, it’s coming from the Principles in action, and when we experience difficulty, that’s coming from the Principles in action within us, as well — it’s so simple.

People in the general public who either haven’t heard of the Principles, or haven’t seen them deeply enough,  do not know that they have access to well-being, thinking it’s a fluke, that it is only felt when something good happens to them, which places them at the mercy of whatever happens in life that is out of their control.

While writing this blog, it occurred to me how interesting it is that people know what the word well-being means — which tells me that a person would have had to experience it to know that! Therefore, that makes it possible. Even if someone thinks they hadn’t experienced it in fifty years, they’d know what you were talking about. Everyone has moments of well-being even if just fleeting moments…the feeling of well-being comes through in the spaces between unsettling thoughts. It comes through even when difficult circumstances prevail, because there are always calm moments between thinking about the difficulty.

Well-being is a feeling to which we all can relate — when we use that word people agree that it is a feeling and know when they are in a state of well-being or panic or concern or worry — everyone has the capacity to differentiate — what allows people to do that?
The Principles allow people to know. Consciousness informs us of what we think, in combination they give us an experience we remember, via the Principles, and thus the experience is not only recognizable, but can be replicated, as well.

Elsie Spittle put it so well, in the description of her talk for our conference: “Let the Feeling Do the Work; innate wisdom expresses itself via a deep feeling of well-being. The feeling is a reflection of our true nature.”

Our true, spiritual nature exists before thought. We come into the world with no thought until we’re spanked to get oxygen to flow through our lungs, then we cry and then we rest peacefully; we’re all born with resiliency. That is how everyone enters the world of form from formless energy.

The prevalent thinking in the world right now however, is that one must find the thing or the person that will provide well-being, when in fact it is already a part of us and we are the ones who allow ourselves to have it or not — it’s always there for the taking. Isn’t that incredible? It’s always with us, but we just cover it up with our thinking. Well-being is our neutral but we’ll slam ourselves into reverse, into second, and third gears, without a care about what we’re doing to our internal mechanism. This may sound like a whacky metaphor, but really it’s a good description of how it feels to me when I’m not aware of the fact that my thinking is off on a tangent. Well-being is our birthright — regardless of what we can’t control — regardless of circumstances and situations.

Here is an example of what I mean: I’m enjoying myself, writing this blog and without realizing it at first, I start to scrunch up my bare toes. It feels strange to me, and then I recall that I broke a toe while playing ball barefoot on the lawn with my nieces. From there I begin to slip into memories of my broken wrist a few years ago and a thumb accident on a bike ride. Then slipping further down, I start to think about how I’m getting older — but at that moment I realize — oh my, I don’t have to go there! I don’t want to do that to myself — why beat myself up? Then boing – I’m back to a feeling of well-being again. We can wake up and become aware even in the middle of such a slippery slope.

We have a built in guidance system — our feelings, and all we need do is understand how that works. Our feelings (thoughts) let us know when we’re off course and about to slam into some thought rocks.

I am so very grateful to be involved with a spiritual understanding (Innate Health and the three Principles) that helps me, personally and professionally, in ways I could never have known. I wish the same for you, too. To deepen your understanding please visit: www.3PGC.org as often as you can and read Elsie’s book, “Our True Identity.”