We have gathered together posts from other Three Principles blogs as well as our own ones. As time goes on we will be offering more services based on the Canadian West Coast and nearby islands. Look out for events and feel free to contact me to let me know about any events you think will be of interest to others in this area.
When I first got involved in Innate Health, I heard a lot about unconditional love being the answer, no matter what the problem might be. Back then, it sounded nice, but meaningless, to me. I was stepping into this new world from a life that was totally transactional, a life of “If…then”. If I got this contract, then I could give my employees a Christmas bonus; if my daughter got straight A’s, then we would take her to DisneyWorld; if I lost five pounds, then I could wear the red dress to the party… Everything was conditional, including love. Both my husband and I would say things to each other that started with, “If you really loved me, you would…”
Now, 30-some years later, it is so vividly true to me that unconditional love is the answer to everything that it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. Unconditional love has nothing to do with human transactions. Unconditional love arises in the spirit. It is the pure, uninhibited joy of being alive and integral to the universe.
Conditionality is a human transaction, a product of thought that imposes ideas on how things should be. We make and believe in our own assumptions without any understanding that they are our fabrications. We do not embrace the unpredictable variability of life or of everyone and everything in it. Anything we find acceptable must conform to our opinions and expectations. We reject people and things that don’t fit our ideas or do not make sense within our world view.
Unconditionality is the inchoate vitality before formed thought. It presents no judgment about life or anything in it. We surrender to the flow of it. Without expectations or judgments, we are immersed in being. Unpredictability, variability do not look disorderly or strange as life unfolds moment-to-moment. It just is. We just are. Everything is rich, fascinating, and materializing in the moment.
Unconditionality is profound love of life, of the beautiful energy surging through the universe and through us, and of the wonder of being united with the essential formless force, and yet creating our own passage within it. Unconditional love is the fullness of heart that emerges from pure appreciation of all of it — the darkness and the light, the perfect and the imperfect, the same and the different, the known and the unknown. Unconditional love is deep, soothing peace. In the “isness” of the universe, there is nothing and no one to fear. We are safe in each present moment in the emerging wisdom that is always available to us. Wisdom is the knowledge that binds the universe together through the creative dynamic of being.
Why is the state of unconditional love the answer, no matter the problem?
The simple fact is that a person who is living with a free and clear mind in that unconditional feeling of gratitude and reverence for life does not bring to mind thoughts of harming or being harmed. No selfish, greedy thoughts. No mean, hurtful thoughts. No disappointed, discouraged thoughts. No resentful, vengeful thoughts. No anxious, fearful thoughts. That state of mind, that state of being, brings with it access to the flow of wisdom and confidence, moment-to-moment, that we can count on to guide us through life’s ups and downs. Wisdom propels us forward. Entertaining negative or dysfunctional or destructive thinking feels wrong and unpleasant if it enters the mind. Those who understand the nature of thought turn away from such ideas — just allow them to pass without action — and look to quiet their thinking and embrace wisdom once more.
Is it unrealistic or even wildly pollyanna to imagine that such a state could come to dominate the experience of humanity? That is an unanswered question. Until we turn our backs on the belief that the content of our personal thinking is more important than our understanding of the true spiritual being through which we are generating that thinking, we will not know the answer. Beliefs seem powerful. They look very real to us while they are on our minds, especially when we don’t know how they got there. As more and more people come to recognize themselves as the agents of life, rather than seeing circumstances as the agency of their life, the ease with which humanity can find personal peace of mind and act from wisdom increases. When wisdom informs more and more of human choices, we will live in a different world, grounded in peace and hope, filled with unconditional love.
Once unconditional love is illuminated as the quintessential power to live, then who would not want to call it home? Who would willingly turn away from natural peace and joy?
Today, in the worlds of mental performance and self-help, it seems like everyone has a strategy. If you’re reading this article, you probably know that bigger and better strategies are introduced on a daily basis. Yet, here’s something that’s almost always overlooked when it comes to strategies that seem to work: They’re a byproduct of understanding (i.e., inner wisdom, knowledge, or instinct).
Meaning: Without understanding, strategy falls apart. Or, a said a different way, it’s understanding, not strategy, that causes excellence. That’s why the multitude of people who bypass understanding and go straight to some strategy that they find in a book, see on TV, or copy from a coach or advisor, ultimately struggle to find excellence.
To illustrate, when it comes to the sport of golf, no strategy is more widespread than the “pre-shot routine.” This strategy—designed to fend off nerves, control feelings of pressure, and thus hit desired shots—is pretty much a staple at all levels of the game. However, in the history of golf, a pre-shot routine has never caused a desired shot. Not once. What does? Well, relative to talent: understanding. Understanding that all feelings are normal and no feeling is superior to another. Players with understanding may indeed go through pre-shot routines. Instinctive routines, that is. On the other hand, players who, void of understanding, execute pre-shot routines in an unnecessary quest to fix feelings or cope, tend to jam instinct (programming behavior always does) which prevents wisdom from rising up and excellence from occurring.
Last thing: Don’t be fooled by the short-term results that may appear to come from adopting someone else’s strategy as your own. Correlation does not equal causation. The foundation of excellence is, and always will be, understanding. And the more strategy you intentionally put into practice, the more you obstruct understanding.
It’s a one-way street. From understanding, great strategy is born. This formula, however, never works in reverse.
Thanks for reading,
One of the central tenets of my work is reminding people of the futility and risk in trying to fix, fight, control, or alter their experiences. If you’re reading this article and don’t know much about my work, that might surprise you. You might wonder why, if you’re having a bad or, let’s say, anxious experience, it’s not in your best interest to fix it?
Here’s the short answer: What you experience isn’t real. And you can’t fix something that’s not real.
To demonstrate: Let’s say you’re an ice hockey player and you’re in the midst of an awful experience. It looks like your coach doesn’t care about you, and he’s treating you poorly. As a result of this experience, you’re feeling more and more upset. You’re getting angry and frustrated. You want relief from the feelings, which you think your coach is causing.
But what if I told you that you aren’t actually experiencing your coach at all? What if your coach has nothing to do with your feelings?
Well, you aren’t and he doesn’t.
How do I know? Slowly, I mean super slowly, consider this question: Independent of the ability to have an experience, does your coach, or any object, even exist? The answer is . . . no. Take away the power TO experience and there’s no coach. And that means your coach can’t be causing your upset.
It’s mind bending at times to see, but your experiences in life are nothing more than a spontaneous projection from inside to out. Sure, it’s fun to hang out in the projection, to use the projection for human wants and needs, and to be the best you can be within the projection. It’s just essential to know that while it seems real, feels real, and looks real, this projection (what you experience) never is.
To play the game, you must understand that it is a game (i.e., not real). As mentioned above, it’s futile—not to mention extremely taxing and potentially harmful—to try to fix experience. Now you have a glimpse as to why.
Inward and up,
November 4, Saturday
The first day of the Viva event. I had thought I was peopled-out, but when I got over to Viva, it was wonderful to see everyone. I had Mick take my box of books over to the other hotel and I walked there this morning. Jan helped me sell them, very kindly. When I got there, the first thing I was asked was if I would be willing to take Peter Anderson’s place to facilitate a breakout group with Amanda O’Shea on well-being, because Peter was sick. Since Amanda asked me, I agreed and it turned out to be a good experience. I also really liked Elsie Spittle’s talk that morning. Both Elsie and I said how much we were looking forward to being on the same stage presenting together at the end of the Viva event, because we have never done that before. I then attended Jenny and Sue’s breakout on insights, which was very nice. For the afternoon break, Amanda asked me if I would be willing to have lunch with some people associated with the addictions rehab place she works at because they read my books. I am so impressed at what Amanda has been able to accomplish over there almost single-handedly. I enjoyed that luncheon too. But I did need to go back and take a nap before the session started again. After Rani Bora and Jenny’s session on mental health, then I did another breakout group on the health of the helper with Katja. Very few people attended but we had a nice, small little circle, and the time just flew by. Then Frederick accompanied a singer on guitar, and then played fiddle for the group, which was really nice. Then I met Rudy to plan for tomorrow’s presentation on Our True Essence. It was a busy but good day.
November 3, Friday.
Gabriela and I took the long walk to Altea. We had a really good and enlightening conversation, up in a little garden overlooking the sea with a view all the way to the Albir lighthouse and Benidorm. Up in Altea, we had brunch in the beautiful courtyard in front of the church, then went into the church, which is one of the most beautiful little churches I know. Then we did some shopping and more talking and walked back to Albir. Gabriela gave me shopping lessons. It was a great and very productive time. When I got back, I had a long and really nice Skype call with Nicole. Then I wheeled my clothes in my suitcase over to a distant hotel to do a laundry. I got there a little too late to have my clothes dry thoroughly, so I had to take them out of the dryer still damp, because it was time to get to the Viva presenters meeting—except that I wanted to get my bag of damp laundry hung out in my room before I went over there. But on my way I bumped into Lili walking in the other direction and she checked and found out the presenters meeting had just started. So I turned around with my suitcase full of damp clothes and walked with Lili over to the meeting at the other hotel. If I hadn’t bumped into her I may have missed it. As it is, I walked into the meeting late. But it was nice to see my fellow presenters, including Elsie and Rudy. Mick drove my bag of clothes and me back to the hotel Rober Palas, just in time for a late dinner.
November 2, Thursday.
Karen Raimbault, former trainee and now good friend and working partner, came for a visit, after visiting a friend of hers in Alicante. First, we hung out with a bunch of the people with whom she had trained before, such as Sheela, Katja, Sally, Mick, Lise, Fredrik and Sue. Then after lunch Karen and I stopped at the gelato shop, where we had the ice cream man take a picture of us outside his shop with his sign behind us, so we could send it to Richard, our former ice cream buddy, and rub it in. Then we walked up to lighthouse and sat up on the high cliffs overlooking the sea, where we shouldn’t have gone, but hey… We had a great walk and talk, catching up after a long time. When we came down, Karen wanted to collect some of the round, smooth rocks from the beach. We grabbed a tea and talked about the project we are doing together. Karen then had to leave but that night after dinner, Fredrik told me he was going to play some fiddle tunes up in Katja’s room. So I went up there–Lili, Ylva and Gabriela joined us, and we had a great time. First, I played a video of my son Dave’s band, Locos Por Juana, and everyone really loved it. Then Lili played a video of her son’s band, and I really loved that. Then Katja and Fredrik put on a swing dancing exhibition; I couldn’t believe how graceful they were. Then Gabriela danced to mariachi music. Fredrik played the violin, improvising to all of it. Then he turned the violin into a fiddle and played his favorite, Irish music, and more. That boy is talented! I loved it all. Great day!
November 1, Wednesday.
My first of three free days! Big trek day today. Peter (Sue’s husband), Fredrik, Liliana and I hiked up the tallest mountain nearby, the name of which escapes me already, but it overlooks Guadalest. It was gorgeous up there, if cloudy and misty and chilly. Parts of it seemed like we were on Mars. We set a mean pace; it took everything I had to keep up. Parts of it were challenging. But it was oh, so worth it. We didn’t plan on going to the very top, but we did. Great company, too. All around great time. I had to get back for a 4:00 massage, so at 3:30 I took a bath and fell right asleep in the bathtub, but luckily not for long. Good massage. Then I was going to go out to a restaurant with Fredrik, Lili, Jo and Ylva, but instead chose to stay and eat in the hotel with Mick, Katja, Eimar, Sally and Lise. Best pallea yet! Most everyone is probably out partying, but I am going to sleep. I’m exhausted.
October 27-31. Friday through Tuesday.
The training retreat, “Helping Others to Transcend the Personal.” This was a wonderful experience. Great group of people, as usual. Some old friends, some new people. Very hands-on. After going around the circle with detailed introductions, with people speaking from the heart about their experience with the Three Principles, which created a beautiful feeling right from the start, we first helped people get on the same page about our two foci: 1) creation of illusion, and 2) essence and oneness. I briefly presented research corroborating these directions. To Gabriela and me this is what understanding the essence of the Three Principles is all about. Gabriela did a demonstration coaching session with Nicole. Gab and I go out of our way to create an environment of love and support, with the foundation of deeply listening. For some reason it enables an atmosphere to be built that is conducive to closeness, allowing people’s minds to calm down, which led to a lot of insights. We did a combination of demonstration counseling by both Gabriela and me, coaching in triads where everyone got a chance to experience being a coach, being a coachee and being an observer, and also a couple of representatives from the group demonstrated coaching in front of the full group and received feedback. We also took people behind the scenes of coaching and planning, which seemed to make them feel even more at ease. The combination of all these led to participants feeling much more comfortable about being a coach using the 3Ps and led to a very warm, loving feeling within the group. Somewhere in the middle of this retreat the training seemed to kick into a higher gear. The closing circle was touching and powerful, as people expressed their gratitude and the insights they had gained from the experience. We ended feeling very close, standing arm in arm in a circle singing “That’s What Friends are For.” This was fully a very beautiful training experience, interspersed in retreat format with afternoons on the beach by the sea, and meeting together again in the evening. The training ended at midday on the 31st, and those who remained all went out to dinner together at the Japanese restaurant where the food never stops coming, and I thought it was really good. Great time! It was sad to see people go, especially, for me, Nicole, who had to leave early, but about a third of the group is hanging around to go to the Viva conference.
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October 27-31 appeared first on Center for Inside-Out Understanding.